Monthly Archives: May 2011

A Quack’s Quick Guide: How to Objectify Women

We’ve all been there: you’re at a party and your coworker points to a young lady across the room, leans over to you, and says, “Nice tits.” It makes you a little uncomfortable. Like any decent human being, you realize … Continue reading

Posted in Nonsense | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

The Senselessness of Obsessive-Compulsiveness

Times I’ve burned the house down:  0 Times I’ve been burglarized: 0 Times I’ve left the fridge open: 0 Times per night I check the stove: 3 Times per night I check the door lock: 3 Times per night I … Continue reading

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Elusive Consequence

Whenever someone asks me how I am, I tell them honestly.  Sometimes that would be: “pretty good,” but more often it’s: “…kinda crappy; I fail at romantic intimacy and this drives away people who get impatient with my ineptitude.  Also, … Continue reading

Posted in Autobiography, Editorial | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Caring vs. Indifference

In the great struggle between caring and indifference, indifference wins every time. The only hope caring has to win is if it can somehow force indifference into caring. Then it’s war. Although, I suppose this principle only works if Caring … Continue reading

Posted in Editorial | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Places Worse than Dorris: Episode III

While in the middle of a 5,000 mile road trip around the country, I was beginning to grow disheartened by the realization that perhaps there really aren’t many places that much worse than poor Dorris. Perhaps my blog series should … Continue reading

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