-
Recent Posts
Archives
- October 2019
- July 2019
- August 2018
- June 2018
- May 2017
- December 2016
- October 2016
- July 2016
- May 2016
- March 2016
- January 2016
- September 2015
- July 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- November 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
Categories
Meta
Top Posts & Pages
Monthly Archives: March 2011
Cactus Porn
Cacti are proof God is a pervert. I have recently taken a liking to deserts. They tend to have an unwelcoming and demented ambiance that I find mostly confusing and slightly titillating. It is as if they were stripped of their … Continue reading
Places Worse than Dorris: Episode II
After my failure with Blythe, I had lost hope in finding anywhere in the Sonoran Desert worse than Dorris. The drive from Blythe to Phoenix is void of even the smallest civilization (aside from Quartzsite) and even if there was … Continue reading
Blythe
My search for places worse than Dorris took me to Blythe, CA. I went to Blythe hoping its name was an onomatopoeia for its aura.* I was certain this town would be a contender; it fit all the prerequisites: small … Continue reading
How I defeated the Pacific Skyline Council (a first-hand lesson in economics)
(reblogged from my livejournal) In the summer of 2001, after I was in eighth grade, I went to the National Boy Scout Jamboree. For those of you who don’t know what the Jamboree is, it’s a Boy Scout event that … Continue reading
Destructors of Sentimentality
I’m a firm believer in the sentimental moments in life. We should all cherish tender and personal moments more often than we do. They are what make us human and emotionally complete. Unfortunately, life is like a movie. Too much … Continue reading
Exalted Bowels
I know it seems like I blog about poop a lot. I assure you, I don’t actually talk about poop this much in real life. Actually I do, and here’s why: pooping is fantastic. I cannot stress enough how much … Continue reading
Always Trust Strangers
Never trust strangers. 99.99%* of people out there are not out to rob you, rape you, kill you, or do you any harm in any way. But what about the 00.01%? They’re lurking in the streets, right? RIGHT? Let me … Continue reading
Dr. Quack’s Art of Seduction
Two words: Lint Ball. Take it from a man who has had precisely one and a half functional relationships in the last 24 years; I know what I’m talking about when it comes to the art of seduction. Success is … Continue reading
The Power of Spite
“Living well is the best revenge.” – George Herbert I have recently started believing in the power of well-directed spite. About two years ago, I had a flopped romance that hurt me pretty badly. As a result, I went to … Continue reading
Existentialist Moments, brought to you by my kitchen
I put some veggies in the microwave for one minute. When I heard the microwave ding, my first thought was: “Oh my god, that was already a minute? Life passes us by so fast…” This should never happen to you, … Continue reading
