In the great struggle between caring and indifference, indifference wins every time. The only hope caring has to win is if it can somehow force indifference into caring. Then it’s war.
Although, I suppose this principle only works if Caring and Indifference are for the most part trying to accomplish the same goals. Let’s take some examples –
Caring and Indifference are trying to leave the house to get to the grocery store. Caring wants to get there by 5pm before the post-work rush. Indifference is ambivalent to when they get there. By 4:30pm, Caring is all set to go. Indifference is still in pajamas. The following conversation ensues:
Caring – “C’mon! We’re gonna be late!”
Indifference – “Well, go without me then.”
This stabs Caring right in the heart. Caring wants to get to the store on time, but he also wants to go with Indifference, because he cares about their friendship. Caring decides to wait around for Indifference to get ready, forcing them not to leave until after 5:30pm when Indifference finally puts on his damn shoes.
Indifference: 1. Caring: 0.
A month later, Caring and Indifference are on a road trip. Caring wants to get home by Friday, but Indifference wants to get home whenever. Caring also doesn’t like driving, and Indifference doesn’t mind driving, so Indifference has control of the vehicle.
Caring – “Can you drive a bit faster?”
Indifference – “Meh. Don’t feel like it.”
Caring – “Pleeeease? I’ll buy you fish tacos.”
Indifference – “I don’t feel strongly about fish tacos.”
Caring – “But I really want to get back by the season finale of 2 Girls 1 Crappy Reality Show.”
Indifference – “Look, do you want to drive?”
Indifference: 2. Caring: 0.
Later on, while Caring and Indifference are trying to hide what’s left of the adopted niece’s body,* they encounter a crisis wherein they have no matches or gasoline for the fireplace and the neighboring hound had already eaten dinner.
Caring – “Indifference, I need you to run to the store and pick up gas, matches, a shovel, a whole lot of incense, and a tall latte, no whipped cream.”
Indifference – “Why should I? You’re the one who drowned her in the kiddy pool.”
Caring – “Only because you didn’t bother telling her to keep her trap shut! …okay, fine. You watch the body. I’ll get the latte. You want one?”
Indifference – “Eh, if you’re paying.”
Indifference: 3. Caring: 0.
Unfortunately for the duo, they both wind up in prison. Caring, afraid of his fellow inmates, tries his hardest to keep his crime a mystery. This is all in vain; it takes no more than a week for the inmates to find out.
Inmate – “What are you in for?”
Indifference – “You know that story with the girl, her unborn child, the kiddy pool, the fireplace, seven chihuahuas, and a tall latte?”
Inmate – “…yeah…”
Indifference – “That was me. …and that guy over there. The guy with the veiny temples. In fact, he’s the one who killed her. I just didn’t stop him.”
Inmate – “…that sick, sick bastard!”
Indifference: 4. Caring: 0.
When Caring finally got out of the infirmary, he sat down with Indifference at the cafeteria and the two of them had a heart to heart.
Caring – “Indifference, why did you tell people what we did?”
Indifference – “I dunno. It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time.”
Caring – “I… I’m paralyzed from the waist down. I’ll never walk again.”
Indifference – “Don’t worry about it. It’s not like your cell has a panoramic view or anything. Chillax.”
Caring – “Indiffy, why don’t you care when I suffer?”
Indifference – “Why do you choose to suffer?”
Caring – “I suffer because I… I love you.”
Indifference – “That’s nice.”
It was at that moment Caring took the plastic spork and repeatedly bludgeoned Indifference, who was not too keen on defending himself, until he was fatefully and irreversible incapacitated on the floor of the cafeteria.
“This would have never happened had we left for the grocery store at 4:30 like I wanted!”
Apparently Indifference’s last words were: “If I had known that was why you wanted to get back by Friday, I would’ve cared!”
Caring: 1. Indifference: n/a
The moral of the story is… well… the moral of the story… uh… it’s in there somewhere. Maybe.
* As it turns out, Caring and Indifference are the antagonists in every Law and Order: SVU episode ever.