I prefer to reserve my blog for expressing thoughts or anecdotes with some vague point. I don’t like to update with personal stories unless they go somewhere outside of the realm of self, and I shelve many drafts that do not meet my personal standards of quality (whatever that means). But I haven’t posted in a while, my drafts have been subpar, and I’m desperately afraid that my readers, who have absolutely no obligation to read my words, are going to lose faith that anything I’ve said has ever been worth something. As it is, sense of self-worth is a fragile thing, and more than I’d like to admit, I actively seek affirmation from strangers such as yourselves. As much as I’d like to pretend to be an emotionally independent human being, let’s be honest – I have a blog, and I write in it. That pretty much pegs me as needy and insecure.
…which is why I’ve decided to post neither thoughts, nor anecdotes, but music. In real life (outside of the internet) I study music composition, and on rare occasion, I actually compose. Perhaps some of you might enjoy listening to what I write beyond the words in my blog (assuming you don’t just scan through all the words in search for the elusive picture I occasionally post). For those of you who hate it or don’t care for my style of music, please forgive me: I’ll post a real entry soon. I promise.
I’m not necessarily looking for praise or criticism, but if you have praise or criticism you want to provide, I’ll be most receptive to it (for the record, criticism is more useful than praise [but praise is good too]). In any case, this is what I do, and if you actually listened to this clip of my most recent recorded work, I am most appreciative of your time and ears. Thank you.