10 Things Nobody Warned Me about my Twenties

When I turned twenty, I was under the impression that life was going to be a party for the next ten years. I was sorely mistaken. You see… I was warned about a couple things: my metabolism will decrease, I’ll get fatter, academic work will get harder, I’ll have to pay taxes; but there are a lot of things no one warned me about.

So I have written this list, projecting my personal experiences onto my fellow twenty-something friends and colleagues who are themselves possibly struggling with the same things I struggle with in this deeply confusing decade we call our twenties.

1. Twenties are the new teens.

People in their thirties often tell me that the thirties are the new twenties, so what does that make us? Well, unfortunately, as if we didn’t already suffer enough in the confusing and disorienting teenage years, we have to do it all over again. The sad truth of our generation is that we often move home, and while I haven’t yet moved home, I’ve visited home enough to know the only difference between being around your parents as a teen and being around them as an adult is, as an adult, they can’t tell you to do your homework because you probably don’t have any.

We are just as rebellious, angsty, emotional, and unstable as we were back then, but throughout college we were far enough away it didn’t matter. This isn’t unique to being in the twenties – I compel every post-thirty adult who reads this to consider: what would life be like living with your parents? It would probably send you straight back in time to loitering at the local Seven Eleven just to escape the folks and their 9pm bedtimes.

“Girlie, where you going?”
“Out, Mom.”
“Don’t take that tone with me young lady! You’re not going out with that Johnson boy again! He’s trouble!”
“Mom! He’s my husband! I love him!”
“I won’t have it! I’ve been talking to Jimmy Lewis’s mother, and she thinks you two would make an adorable pair. He’s a retired lawyer, you know. Good genes.”
“You never listen to me, Mom!”

But, since people past the age of thirty don’t live with their parents (the shame eventually drives them out of the attic), this peculiar age-family dynamic rests on the shoulders of twenty-something boomerangs.

2. I still don’t know what it’s like to be an adult.

I remember once waking up at 6:30am to drive a friend to LAX. It was still dark, the streets were empty, and there was a certain amount of peace in the air. It was an hour I had rarely seen since my high school days, and even though I was dead tired, there was a certain amount of satisfaction in waking up before the world.

Then it became 7:00 and I was stuck in rush hour going 5 to 10 miles per hour on a freeway crammed with the morning commuters. Who the hell are these people, and what are they doing up before 10:00?! It was window into a confusing world I had never experienced – that of getting drive thru Starbucks on the way to work, being home by 5:30pm to eat dinner and then falling asleep after the evening news – and as I got back home from the airport at 8:00am, I tucked myself in bed realizing that as long as I eat dinner at 10pm and fall asleep around 2:30am every morning after doing my midnight grocery shopping with the drunkards and insomniacs, I will never know what it’s like to be an adult.

This is also true as long as I fill out a 1040EZ for my tax returns, but that’s probably connected to my sleep schedule. And don’t even talk to me about 401Ks or the Stock Market, whatever that is. A “bond” is a connection between two people, or at the very least the last name of James.

3. I don’t belong in a socially distinct or recognized demographic.

As my twenties go on, I realize that I truly am not an adult (see above). In fact, I’m pretty sure adulthood is entirely a lie, but eventually people get comfortable with calling themselves adults and group themselves into a mass of people that have TV shows about their problems and ads for their migraine pills. As long as I don’t have a “career” and my knees still work, I’m not sure I can call myself an adult.

But then, I can’t call myself a kid either. I can’t hang out with teenagers and converse about not-yet-shattered hopes and dreams (at least not without the police showing up). I can’t even call myself a college student – I’m not about to do a keg stand and hook up with some vomit-mouthed coed who still drives home on the weekends to do laundry.

But in popular media, nothing exists between adulthood and college. Sexy shows about young people are almost exclusively about high school (Glee, Popular, Roswell, Dawson’s Creek) or at the very latest college (Felicity, American Pie 2, Animal House), and then it jumps straight into sexy young professionals (Scrubs, Grey’s Anatomy, Entourage) and that’s just a stone’s throw away from the established but uncomfortable adult (Friends, Sex and the City) and before you know it, you’re at Matlock.

What do we, the non-professional post-college good-for-nothing twenties have? Futurama? Is Philip J. Fry the torch-bearer for my people?

4. Relationships actually result in marriage sometimes.

A year ago, I was 23. I had married friends, but none of them went through the process of marriage during our friendship. Then, sometime between then and now, my first friend got engaged. I was thrilled. I’ve always wanted my friends to get married. It was about time.

But seriously, six months and daily engagement notices later, I’ve decided: you guys can stop getting married now. It’s not that I’m not happy for you – I am very happy for you. But, as awful as this sounds, I also enjoy the intrigue of future ambiguity. You see, I’m selfish, and I like being able to say, “So, meet anyone special lately?” But I can’t say that when you’re married. It’s more like, “So, did you… meet your wife lately?” It’s like a mystery novel whose ending has been revealed. It was fun while it lasted, and I enjoyed the twist, but now what? Part II: Babies? I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.

I admit, this is selfish of me. It’s not about me, it’s about you. But no, I’m making it about me because this entry is about me projecting onto everyone I feel like might be similar to me. So I have to be honest about my feelings, and they are as follows:

If you’ve read my writings for a while, you can probably figure out I do a lot of pining, and a lot of my identity is based on the idea of missed connections, unrequited longing, or the need to overcome a lack of courage to pursue a dream that is probably best left out of reality. I see this akin to the ideals of a nineteenth century romantic, and I compose music accordingly. For me, it’s an element of psyche that contributes to my art.

But here’s the thing: in high school, when two people were dating, I could always say, “When they split up…” and that idea would somehow bring peace to my irreconcilable pain of being unable to pursue the woman of my dreams, whoever she might’ve been at the time, even if I knew damn well I was never going to do anything about it anyway if she were single. Then college happened, and I could still say, “When they split up…” and it might take one, two, or three years, but it was bound to happen eventually. After all, you can’t stay together forever unless you get married…

…and now they’re getting married, and I realize now that the caveat of time no longer applies. We’re growing up. Things last forever now. The pool of eligible ladies is shrinking permanently.

5. I am physically incapable of staying up all night.

Yes, I realize I’ve already confessed I stay up until 2:30am and sleep until the double digits. But that’s simply my schedule. It’s no more or less sleep than someone who has a 9pm to 5am schedule.

But God forbid I stay up until 3:30am. Eventually I’ll fall asleep standing up if I have to. Once upon a time, I would have a paper due the next morning, and with a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey, I was good to go until 6 or 7am to turn it in by 9. Now, if I’m writing a paper last minute, I get to about 4am and say, “Shit. Well, I guess it’s gonna be late.” And then I pass out on the floor.

That goes for parties too. I have a 1:00am self-imposed curfew. Take that, college!

6. I have forgotten everything I ever learned in high school.

I mean everything. Even people’s names. Calculus? Don’t know. Physics? What’s that? Great Gatsby? Read it once, someone dies. How to cite sources? Ask the internet. Gilded Age? Something about wacky facial hair on rich men. Algebra? YES! Oh wait… that was junior high.

I’m not kidding. Everything is gone. Sometimes I’ll have conversations with old friends that go something like this:

Me: “Hey, you remember that one guy who had the skateboarding accident sophomore year?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “Damn. He was in like all of my classes for all four years.”
Him: “What’s his name?”
Me: “I have no idea! That’s what I’m trying to figure out!”
Him: “… do you remember anything else about him?”
Me: “Uh… he lived in Los Altos Hills… gave a speech at graduation… blond hair, green eyes, about 6’1” 170 pounds. Always wore blue hats. Dated that brown-haired chick. Went to UC Davis to study history. I think he had a sister two years older…”
Him: “Oh… I think it was… was it …Dustin? Justin? Crustin?”

7. Not only am I dumber than I used to be, I’m also more retarded.

Maybe the first clause is due to this principle: “The more things you know to exist, the dumber you feel,” but that doesn’t help me feel any less retarded. And I don’t mean that in an offensive-slur kind of way. Literally, I feel like I’m mentally handicapped, at least compared to how I used to be. Let’s take language as an example:

When I had just turned 20, I took a class in Lithuanian, a notoriously difficult and obscure language. There were four people in my class, and one of them was a benevolent middle-aged man who tragically stumbled through lessons day in and day out. This would happen:

Teacher – “’Pusryčiauti’ means ‘to eat breakfast.’ How do you say, ‘to eat breakfast’?”
Man – “P… p… pa… pra…”
Teacher – “…..”
Man – “It starts with a P, right?”

I felt for the man, but I didn’t understand his problem, because frankly it couldn’t have been easier for me.

Teacher – “Anybody else?”
Me – “’Pusryčiauti.’ Aš pusryčiavau bendrabutyje. Aš valgau jogurtą.”
Teacher – “Labai gerai, Džefai.”

Fast forward. I’m in my fifth year of Polish. Every damn week for the past five years, I have the same conversation:

“Pani Profesor, jak się mówi ‘to receive’?”
“…dostać.”
“Shit. That’s right.”
(I actually had to look that up just now)

Just as frequently, this happens:

“Pani Profesor, jak się mówi ‘achievement’?”
“Osiągnięcie.”
“Ośśś… oś… …..”
“Osiągnięcie.”
“Osiągszczenie?”
“O-siąg-nię-cie.”
“Oszrzćczyszczyszśczyzczżcę…”

Now, I understand learning a language is a skill that gets worse over time, but even in my beloved music classes, I have a similar problem. I’ll be sitting in electronic music lecture and this will happen:

TA – “Once you assign the mod wheel to the parameter like this… you can adjust it like so.”
Me – “Wait, how do you assign the which to the who wha?”
TA – “Like this.”
Me – “Wait, sorry, one more time. I was thinking about milk just now.”
TA – “You were thinking about …milk? …what about milk?”
Me – “You know… just… about milk.”

And that’s the most disturbing thing: I’ve gotten to the point where my abstract thoughts drown out things that are actually happening, but my abstract thoughts aren’t even doing anything. It’s not like I would be thinking about drinking milk. I’d just be thinking… about milk.

8. Life becomes more tragic.

I had a conversation with a 62 year-old friend over the internet once. It went something like this:

Me – “Man, I’m bummed.”
Him – “Why?”
Me – “Everyone I know is getting married.”
Him – “It could be worse. Everyone I know is dying.”

This is a sad one, folks. It seems obvious that, as I get older, more people that I have known perish. This is the natural progression of life, and I’m thankful that I haven’t been exposed to the tragedy of loss as much as most, even those significantly younger than me. But I can feel it coming, and that feeling of dread – dread for the ambiguous future – is an awful feeling. In times of paranoia, I’m often afraid to answer my mom’s calls, because I’m afraid she’ll be reporting bad news.

But this is just a part of getting older. It’s natural, and it needs to be accepted, or else I’ll have to be locked up in the loony bin by the time I’m thirty.

It’s not just about life and death though. The twenties seem to be the years when dreams are made or dreams are shattered. We enter with such high expectations for our lives, and we are put through a trial period of emotional highs and lows that result in a self we’re not sure we even recognize. This is when people get arrested for drug use or DUI. This is when people move back home and live in the attic playing WoW. This is when people we know who enlisted in the military lose life or limb.

But again, for the sake of sanity, it’s something we need to get used to, or we won’t be able to appreciate the great joys that also await us.

9. Life has greater joys.

In high school, it’s a great joy to receive an A on a paper. In college, it’s a great joy to meet the girl of your dreams and drunkenly hook up in the fraternity bathroom. But those are mere pennies compared to the joy of finally being old enough to value your family, or the great joy of raising a snot-nosed child, or even the great joy of traveling the world without having a chaperone or an itinerary that consists exclusively of discotheques.

Yes, life has more tragedies, but the stakes are higher. Life has greater joys too. As we get older, we can buy better things and experience the joy of ownership. We can experience the joy of independence – being able to get in the car and just drive wherever the hell we feel like it.

Finally, for the first time, our lives have seemingly complex meaning. The work we do isn’t busy work, but rather other people depend on it. The twenty-something med student can experience the joy of changing a patient’s life. The twenty-something musician’s music will be heard and enjoyed by someone who isn’t his mother. This is where the seed of greatness begins.

8+9. You stop giving a shit about things you used to give a shit about.

I remember when I graduated college and had my big, empty adult life ahead of me with no direction or purpose. I had to ask myself heavy existential questions: why am I here? What am I doing? What’s the meaning of all this? For the most part these questions went unanswered, and merely resulted in several romantic nights between me and my bottle of gin. Frankly, there is no answer to these questions, and for the most part it’s best not to ask them.

But I was asking them, and it had an immediate social consequence: I no longer gave a damn about the petty problems of yesteryear. I’d ask my younger friends how they’re doing, and they’d say, “Horrible. I have a huge midterm tomorrow and I haven’t studied,” and I’d have to catch myself from responding, “Oh, that’s cool. Be glad that your sense of self-worth can still be defined by the letter grade on a test you’ll immediately forget about.” Or sometimes they’d come up to me and say, “I’m upset. My roommate had a boy over last night,” and I’d want to say, “Really? Wow. Welcome to not being sixteen anymore.”

Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that I’ve become apathetic to your joys and sorrows. It’s just that my dictionary of joys and sorrows have increased beyond college problems, and what would have once evoked my greatest pity is now just annoying. And, for those of you still working away at that bachelor degree, you too will find this out soon enough: tests come and go, but existential crises are here to stay.

10. You’re still changing.

I was fairly certain when I was a teenager that by the time I turned twenty, my identity would be set in stone. That didn’t happen. I look at myself today, and I’m a different man-boy than I was one year ago. Next year, I will look at myself again and surely I will again be different.

And thus is the beauty of the lonely twenties: it is a decade devoted purely to the molding of oneself into a better human being. So why am I wasting it on the internet?

(edit 2/18/12 – I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to WordPress for choosing my entry to be on Freshly Pressed.  It is an honor, and I thank each and every one of you who took the time to read this entry; your words of encouragement mean a lot to me [and I do plan on getting around to responding to the comments] and for those of you who decide to come back, I hope my future entries will make as much an impact as this one did.  For those of you who are yourselves trying to develop readership – keep at it and don’t give up on writing, because pleasant things may happen when you least expect it.)

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About Doctor Quack

Just another bonehead with an internet connection.
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666 Responses to 10 Things Nobody Warned Me about my Twenties

  1. Vicky G says:

    I think that this is my favorite post of yours. About #7, our brains are still growing until we are 26, and until then they are like sponges absorbing as much as possible…So I think you still have 2 years to learn that Polish!

    • Doctor Quack says:

      Thanks Vicky! I like your input. I feel like my sponge though is getting a little ragged. Like a dish sponge on its last legs. It can still be used to scrub dog poo off boots, but you don’t want to put it on your dishes afterwards. Or something like that…

      How have you been?

    • feasypeasy says:

      I keep hearing that things “solidify” at 27 years. Is it the sponge? Maybe it’s the awareness of the deteriorating sponge. Like novelty ware off.

  2. Ah, yet another wonderful post to make me jealous of my comparatively paltry writing skills. 🙂

    Just because it’s 1AM and you’ve inspired me to reflect, here’s what I’ve noticed:

    11. Time goes by more and more quickly. I recently realized that I’ve been at my job for almost a year, and it was a shock: I still remember my first day of work as if it was a month ago. I’m haunted by the idea of waking up when I’m 60 and realizing that I’ve lived out the same exact day for 40 years.

    12. Time is suddenly a very valuable resource. I can no longer hope to do everything I’ve always wanted. I have to pick and choose what I spend my time on, and these choices will stick with me for my entire life.

    13. Most creative folks seem to reach their artistic peaks in their 20s and 30s. That means that there’ll be no better time to get really, really good at something and to start slowly building up to the Big Thing that everyone will know you for. This really frightens me, because many people have far surpassed me at this stage in their lives.

    14. Holy crap. I can go to Europe. I can buy a cactus. I can eat bacon every morning. I can become a barber. I can go to conferences and network with important-looking people. I can quit my job and become a hobo for a while. As a soon-to-be adult, I’m suddenly an order of magnitude more free than I have ever been before. It’s important to not let this go to waste: routine has the tendency to devour years of your life.

    And speaking of gin, I think I’ll go have some now.

    Somewhat unrelatedly, would you send me some of your music? I’d love to give it a listen.

    • “14. Holy crap. I can go to Europe. I can buy a cactus. I can eat bacon every morning. I can become a barber….” —I love that you added this. As a post-college 20-something I think this was the very first thing that scared me when I finished school: having the absolute freedom to make your own choices. I mean, I don’t exactly feel like I can make my own choices–lack of funds, anyone?–but the idea is still there.

      To the author of this post, Doctor Quack? You hit everything on the nail, and with an extremely witty tone. Great writing!

      • I think there should be a two semester course on being an adult when you are a junior in high school. Have a bank account to manage, bill, household to up keep, spouse, even kids, the works. I mean, whose bright idea was it to send kids into the worls withno working knowledge. Why do grownups think that kids shoudl be sheltered from what being grown up is like? WE are ALL gonna be adults at some point and have to make our own decisions….why not share some of your lessons parents?!
        Awesome post and I am very happy that you are enjoying your Freshly Pressed moment! you deserve it and should enjoy it alot!!! AmberLena

      • Doctor Quack says:

        I completely agree with you. It’s taken me three different apartments to finally figure out how to actually find an apartment, and while learning the hard way is extremely valuable, there gets to be a time where I’m just too embarrassed to not know something I feel like everyone my age already knows (which, surely they don’t) like what a 401k is, or how to change the oil in my car, or what the difference is between a bank and a credit union. Now I’m just afraid to ask (but apparently not afraid to blog about it).

        If there was some sort of class in high school (like you mentioned) that went over personal management skills and basic adult life, I’m almost positive there would be less poverty and hopelessness with fresh adults who have no clue what’s going on because they’ve never needed a clue before.

      • Elaine Hoekstra says:

        In Alberta, Canada, high school students are required to take a one-semester course called “Career and Life Management” (or “C.A.L.M.”) in addition to several other typical requirements like English and phys. ed. in order to receive a diploma and graduate. This course covers money management, parenting skills, job search skills, and a bunch of other things I don’t remember because that was almost ten years ago. While the course can be a bit of a joke for most students (it’s not that difficult to pass without actually retaining any of the information you learn there) I think it was nice that they ‘adults’ at least put some kind of effort into teaching us useful grown-up things. Then there was the time my friend’s C.A.L.M. class watched “Cool Runnings.”

      • Josf says:

        you are absolutely right…i also thought like that…..something funny…..in my childhood days i dreamed about the freedom that am going to enjoy being an adult….it happens like …well funded days without freedom…….ha ha

    • turnatable says:

      totally true, thanks for adding that to an already great post!

    • brilliant writing, both alexei and blogger quack.
      i read this post every so often to reassure myself i’m not an utter waste of space.
      thanks for the existential encouragement chaps 🙂

  3. eao says:

    along with everyone suddenly getting married, there’s the internal realization that all that stuff we thought we might do “someday” is suddenly within view. it’s scary to change thoughts like “i want kids someday” to “i want kids within the next 15 years.”

  4. Taylor Ward says:

    I’m really glad that i’m not the only one that feels dumber.

    I feel like my retention has really gone.

  5. Lara says:

    A friend of mine on facebook commented on this post so I read it. I’m so glad I did. Every point is spot on. Go you!

  6. As someone firmly planted in her “new twenties,” I can honestly say I LOVED this post.

    Oh, and to all of your readers: Please don’t get married if you’re in your “new teens.” Typically, this does not end well…

    😉

    (Unhealthy “like” of ducks??? Do tell…)

    • Doctor Quack says:

      Heh. Ducks are my favorite animal. I venerate them to the point of them being somewhat holy animals for me. I will not eat them, and when I see them, I long to be among their flocks. Nothing too unhealthy, just a little weird.

  7. N. Congo says:

    I’m 33, and you’re absolutely right.

  8. I turned 24 last November and I can relate to all you points! Good post, sooo true!

  9. megk8199 says:

    Wait until you turn 30 and your body starts to fall apart and you have to carry around not one, but several pill cases with you everywhere you go. Then you really learn who you are, what you value, and what you want out of life. That’s the good news… the bad is that I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. *shrug* oh well!

    • kikibokassa says:

      I’m so glad to be reading this post and I totally agree with your reply, especially the body and pill part 🙂 Thanks a lot for sharing your inner emotions I think it’s the best thing one can do!

  10. I would usually comment on my favorite part/line, but theres so many -A great read !!!

  11. So true I’m in my mid 20s so I totally agree that with being in your 20s comes freedom but with freedom comes responsibility. Alot of my friends are/have gotten married as well so I totally understand the whole feeling of being left out. Congrats on being freshly pressed!!

  12. emil says:

    Your writing is good. But the pity party is pretty pathetic, read Alexei’s #14 and go make your life worth living – its up to you to make cool shit happen.

  13. It’s funny reading this and going through these things at the same time. I was reading it saying, “oh ive done this” and “yea totally agree”

  14. Rae says:

    People lie about how it’s great to get older just so they can look smug when you realize how much work it is. Don’t worry, pretty soon it will be your turn to shake your head at naive 20-year-olds too.

  15. Kim says:

    I completely identify with your idea about post-college twenty-something “syndrome.” When describing myself, I still want to say “girl,” but I’m not a girl anymore…I have a regular day job and bills, but I don’t wear business suits to work. In fact, I still think that sunglasses are a perfectly acceptable substitute for a headband when indoors. Am I an adult? I’ll get back to you on that one.

  16. majabaek says:

    I turn 20 this year and now i feel very very screwed. Shit.

  17. You are correct, I am 44 and adulthood is a lie. Now that you figured that out, the rest is easy 🙂

  18. susielindau says:

    Oh this my new friend, is hilarious!! You hit the proverbial nail on the head and I have been past the decade of the twenties for some time now. I guess things don’t change that much. You brought back a lot of memories, but you also made some fantastic points as well. I had never thought about that decade in that way.
    This is a very well deserved Freshly Pressed! I will be checking back for more of your humorous insight!
    Congratulations!

  19. Fia says:

    So true! Recognizing myself in everything (24 in July). Great post!

    http://bitterfia.wordpress.com

  20. Me – “Everyone I know is getting married.”
    Him – “It could be worse. Everyone I know is dying.” ~ I laughed so hard at that!!!

    Hilarious post!

  21. poetposeur says:

    I’m turning 28 next month and I can feel the 30s coming on. This was a painful squint (does your hindsight still possess 20/20 vision after 25?) into the past 8 years, but thankfully, at 28, you can laugh at this stuff.

    As a side note: I’m wondering how you got in my brain. If I weren’t surrounded by other teachers in bordering offices who might hear me, I would shout out a Southern Baptist-style “Amen!” to, like, ALL of these. Or, since you’re a duck fanatic like me, I would quack (yes, I can do Donald) in appreciation.

    Quack!

  22. wadingacross says:

    Welcome to adulthood and growing up. The thing is though, will you spend your twenties spinning your wheels, or will you get off your duff and do something constructive with the wisdom you’ve realized?

    It took me most of my twenties to realize what you have. It’s the sad reality of not only your generation and mine, but the state of our culture, sliding ever down into the gulley.

    We can pull up though. We can cross the river and start climbing back up. But it will not be with us in the driver seat, not in our culture and most certainly not in our own lives.

    Time for a reality and priority check. You’re already part-way down the path, but there’s a cliff ahead of you and only you can make the choice. I pray you make the right one.

  23. Witchmountain says:

    My daughter turns 20 0n Sunday, I’d better tell her to read this….( However , I still do not feel like an adult)

  24. Irene Lefort says:

    Interesting post. I belong to the post 30s group and I still feel as if I am playing at being an adult. I wonder, if it would ever change? Have a nice day! Cheers.

  25. Ammon says:

    All good and valid points. #3 is especially true. I don’t think demographics — at least the way marketers traditionally have used them in the past — are very applicable nowadays. I blogged about this myself a few months back when I left one demographic and moved on to another.

  26. maybemasha says:

    Spot on! I had almost started an entire blog on this topic. Frankly, more literature and movies should be dedicated to the ridiculous 20-30 gap. I now never know where to go to read about experiences I can relate to. YA novels now sound like permanent PMS and most “adult” novels seem to involve divorces and cheating hubbies that not only can’t relate to, but really hope never to encounter. Where are the SYMBOLS of the 20-30s? Apparently only in RENT.

    Thanks for the awesome post!

  27. Marz says:

    I stumbled upon this post by accident and I am really glad I did. You’ve definitely summed up almost all of what I see happening to my friends as well as what is going on in my own life. Though there is one thing (as a woman anyway) I feel was left out. Hormones! Something bizarre happens in your 20s and all sorts of things change. As you mentioned, metabolism changes and weight potential weight gain. But you also become this sort of living contradiction as you move steadily towards something like the impending reality of wrinkles whilst still battling adult on-set acne. I mean really, how are you supposed to call yourself an “adult” when your skin insists on behaving like you are 13 all over again.

    • Caroline says:

      Um, at what age would you say your metabolism started changing? I eat like a man, and some of my friends keep telling me that it’ll change someday. I really don’t want to end up looking like a whale!

  28. Wait. It gets worse. As a man in my late 40’s, I’m here to tell you that no one prepares your for the shit storm that will barrel down on your at random points of your life. Parents dying? No one prepares you for that. Friends getting sick with cancer and dying? It’s harsh. Being 30 and unemployed and eating ramen noodles. Yeah, you’ll do that, too.

    But it can get better. The day you decide to grab life by the balls and tell it who’s in charge – that’s when things will start turning around. The day you no longer give a fuck about the trivial shit and start carving a path that is right for you and your family — that’s when you start really living.

    Young one – I wish you the best.

  29. Bex says:

    Ahhh, so true. So much of this applies to me, specially the whole…not being a kid or a teenager any more but still not being an adult. I remember as a teen looking up to people my age now and thinking they were so mature and had it all sorted out but…now I am this age I feel no different. Thanks for the great read!

  30. dearfriends says:

    Developmental Psychology should thank you for this post! Insightful and the kind of funny that makes me hurt. My daughter said she knew she was “grown up” when she could no longer sleep in–even on the weekends. You’re doing fine–life is a balancing act between the joy of expectation and the grief of letting go. Thanks for the smile–Barb

  31. bicycle says:

    Good post.

    I’ve often thought about what it means to be “mature” (or an adult or whatever sound you want to attach to that idea) and how it doesn’t mean that you have to be jaded or locked into a position but that you know who you are (a little bit at least which is as much as we can know) and you know that there is no way of understanding everything and you’ve accepted the path(s) you can travel. To quote Allen Ginsberg, “that leaves it open for no regret”. It’s like reading a poem. When you try to get it, its awful. Just savor it like wine… or gin.

    #8 + #9 are just brilliant. In highschool, we worry about grades. In college, we worry about existential matters. Post-grad, we are still worrying. Eventually, you realize the wisdom extolled by Rabbi Marshak in A Serious Man, “When the truth is found to be lies, and all the joy within you dies… be a good boy.”

  32. Tribe James says:

    It’s good to know I’m the only one who is feeling these things at twenty-something 😉

  33. TJ Johnston says:

    I’m perfectly capable of staying up all night, only I’m usually lying in bed when I do. 🙂

  34. samanthahamade says:

    Hands down the best post Ive read so far.
    Everything made perfect sense. Its like you turned my every day thoughts into words!

  35. Little Miss says:

    I’m 20 and all of these points are valid. Guess nothings going to improve for a long time yet!
    I swear the brain has a capacity, and when you reach it, it starts to push the old information out 😉

  36. GPG says:

    Fantastic post Dr Quack! I’ll be 47 this year, and reading this post transported me back to my high school, into and then right out of college years, and I’m smiling: you totally captured my emotions/thoughts/feelings from back then!

    For me, my girlfriends went from high school to college to engaged to married to their first house to their first baby ~ and by the time I was 30, I was still single, no ring, no boyfriend, still in an apartment, and no babies! Sheesh…I had nothing in common with them anymore. All I can say is that my 30’s were far different than my 20’s…

    I hope you are still posting when you’re 30, I’d love to see where you’re at 🙂

  37. Regarding number 5 – maaan, I’m in my (early) twenties and I can’t stay up late either! I feel like such a granny – but despite any level of alcohol that I’m willing to shove down me, I just can’t last until 5am raving and dancing, like some natters I know. Also, sadly I can’t handle the all-nighter essay-bashing, even if I wanted to. One should not sacrifice sleep, even for a degree! Congrats on hitting FP, top blog post

  38. This is hilarious! Coincidently, I was considering writing a blog post like this myself, but then I thought people would find me too grumpy. You’ve actually managed to make it funny. I can completely relate to this!

  39. Ed says:

    You basically described my life. I am sitting here laughing at how absolutely spot-on this post is. Even down to the #8+9 one where your friend was complaining about a roommate bringing a boy over. Some of my friends are RAs and they have told me stories like that almost verbatim.

    It’s refreshing to see someone of my generation who can actually reflect on life and express some profundity of thought. I was beginning to think I was the only one who cared. Rest assured you are not alone in this limbo decade called the 20s.

  40. Janet says:

    Existential crises? Just wait till 40 (and by the way, even when you reach 40 you are stil 20 in your head).

  41. zehra1984 says:

    Im 27 and this post made my day:)) reading over and over again:))

  42. You start to grow up when you get a job working 60 – 80 hours a week and take responsiblity for your life. If you thought that made you feel grown up, then wait till you have children. That will definately help you prioritize you life and wonder how or why you stayed up all night. You will beg to sleep at night and learn to walk and talk so that the children do not wake up!

  43. LegosnEggos.com says:

    What an enjoyable post. I think you hit just about every point I came to in my twenties, even though it was some time ago. And you’re right — you continue changing, even in your forties and later. I don’t think it would be necessarily good thing to feel set in one’s identify anyway. :).

  44. amelie88 says:

    Everything in this post is on target.

  45. melissakoski says:

    “If you’ve read my writings for a while, you can probably figure out I do a lot of pining, and a lot of my identity is based on the idea of missed connections, unrequited longing, or the need to overcome a lack of courage to pursue a dream that is probably best left out of reality. ” is brilliantly funny and describes me accurately….but at least a decade older. I better get on that dream.

    • Doctor Quack says:

      Perhaps, but when you finally realize that dream, let me know if it was better kept as a dream. Living as a perpetually unfulfilled romantic might sound nice, and we both darn well know it definitely has its downs (and ups?), but part of me is afraid that getting everything I desire might leave me disappointed.

      So I guess what I’m requesting is: let me know if it’s better to dream the life or live the dream, because I’m still none too sure.

      • melissakoski says:

        living the dream, but the dream is always better…

      • poetposeur says:

        Pardon the intrusion on the conversation, but here’s my two cents (couldn’t resist): I think the point of living as an unfulfilled romantic is that it is the grist that fills that metaphorical mill we grind, intending to produce sustenance we can live off of. But mills are stationary. So I guess you have to identify the dream, leave the romantic dreaming mill, go for it (I moved to Mexico to teach English), and expect happiness or disappointment (or a healthy yin and yang of both).

        I think you can have restlessness and ennui at any age. I combat it by not allowing any one dream or destination to define me. The only absolute destination is death, really, so enjoy the dream trips.

        Let’s see if I can carry that advice out myself. Good luck, both of you.

  46. keya856 says:

    Reblogged this on liveadayandalife and commented:
    i find this to be soo true

  47. lolahbf says:

    I got an essay back today. It was a 2:2. I felt like crap especially as my friend got a 2:1. It wasn’t until my dad told me to just try harder and not let it get me down that I felt better. I know your grades don’t matter but right from childhood, you’re made to feel that they do. I am 19 and in the 5 months at uni, my life HAS changed. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with all this change. Friends, people (the crappy ones and the nice ones), boys (yes, boys), my religion, lecturers, time management (I love sleep too much) and money (the moment you get a job, your parents stop giving you money).

    Sometimes, it gets overwhelming and I’m looking forward to sleep at night just so I can get rest from everything.

  48. Heh. If you thought 20 was full of surprises, wait until you meet up with 40

  49. natshc says:

    I love this and it is so true, I do have to warn you however that a certain number of these things worsen in your thirties, you would think life would have settled by then but no. Also it’s awful filling in forms and they ask you what age bracket you are in and you have to tick the next one up………….soul destroying is not the word. Good luck with life and above all be happy, you’re only here once so why not enjoy it 🙂

  50. Reblogged this on Ajax LeVallee and commented:
    …Wow really looking forward to the future now…and the futures only about 5 months away too…5 I just generally refuse to do, I agree with 6, and 7 I will fight with all of my existence

  51. giggloki says:

    I laughed until I cried about the milk bit, omg, so funny. (Only because I continually think in abstract thoughts, much to my husbands confusion.)

  52. fr3lancer says:

    loved it 🙂 n congrats on getting Freshly Pressed!

  53. Joy says:

    A bit of advice from someone approaching (well, not too close) the Matlock years… do it now. All of it (well, be morally discerning). learn, travel, try new things, make friends, fall in love, do good, respect your parents. This is the time, this is your opportunity. You’ll never be younger or healthier, or even dumber. I’ve done things because I was young and stupid and didn’t know any better… some I’ve regretted, some I say, “at least I had the guts to do it.” And enjoy all of your years, especially the adult ones. Love your children, love your grandchildren. There are so many blessings from God in life; enjoy it, be thankful. We don’t know what’s around the corner. But most important of all, know God, and know without a doubt where you are going when you die, because it can happen at any moment. Laugh at yourself, laugh at life. Smile big and often. You’re at a great age, embrace it with everything you have. And when you get to the point that you’re surfing the channels, looking for Matlock, that’s a good age too. In light of eternity, this life is short. Live it well.

  54. Maggie O'C says:

    Turning 47 this year. And I’m starting to have the weird age things like a hair growing out of my chin, gray hair and acne at the same time. But the 40s are the best for relaxing into who you are and not giving a shit what anyone thinks. You are still just a baby, have fun with your 20s, that’s what they’re for!

  55. keyinhand says:

    “thinking about milk” hahaha i love this! twenties should be fun! You’re not an adult yet but you get to shape your kid-like future right? I’m almost there, and this is definitely something i’ll keep in mind!

  56. Great post. Agreed. Twenties seem impossible. The older I get, the harder it seems!!

  57. Miya says:

    This is awesome and true, and I thank you for it!

  58. Thanks for summarizing life as a twenty-something. Every “next” stage of life always looks great…until you get there. I am not holding out much hope for my thirties….!

  59. iamdanielle22 says:

    Number 6 & 7, the best! I’m 22 and just realized, 6 & 7, in myself 2 weeks ago and then reminded of it twice from a group of 16 year-olds, a week ago. I wanted to crush their hopes and dreams out of spite, but didn’t. Good read.

  60. Animockery says:

    Excellent post, I can relate to much of this sort of experience. I am 28 now and you are currently at the age I was when I last felt like a young person. I hate to say it but unless you start to take certain step forward in life the effect of age can have a greater effect. Since I was 24 here is a list of things that have happened to me;
    – I got married (happily)
    -I had two children
    -Received my first college degree and started a second
    -Started a fun but challenging career.
    -gained nearly 40 pounds
    -paid all of my debt off
    All of this has had a huge effect on me and I have run into many of the same issues you have seen. I have learned much from it though. One big one is that is as true that you are only as young as you feel. The trick is that you have to take care of your mind and body or your gonna feel like your 90 when your 40.
    At this time I file joint taxes, have a nice car that is paid off, raise two kids with my lovely wife and have a great career that get me up in the morning by 6 Monday through Friday. My point is that you never know what will happen. I have learned that my twenties flew by compared to my teen years. Five years ago before I got married I was planning on living in Japan and was not going to get married until I was at least 30.

  61. Talitha says:

    Reblogged this on My Favorite Spaces.

  62. Bleach Blog says:

    I swear I was one of the smartest kids in school. Now I’m probably the slowest most infuriating person at my entire workplace! The growing pains in your limbs start in your teens, sure, but the growing pains in your brain begin at 22… No one tells you about those!

    I love this post!

    • Cath says:

      ” Now I’m probably the slowest most infuriating person at my entire workplace!” I’m laughing so hard at this post that tears are coming out of my eyes!

  63. Nikki says:

    As a 23-year-old who’s had to move back home with her family after graduating college in May and still hasn’t found a career doorway into the big, bad outside world… This is mind-numbingly accurate, lol. Such a well written piece, nicely done. 🙂

  64. AlIsLegend says:

    This is so true, it almost physically hurts. I’ve never seen my exact thoughts about this written so well and thoroughly. Fantastically done, sir.

  65. jwolfe06 says:

    Oh my gosh I love your term at the end of #1 [I’m currently 23 and living the dream at home]. No lie- a group of us, who all live back at home, go to Trivia nights and our team name is “the boomerang kids”. We’re so cool.

  66. Ruglovermary says:

    Wow my 20’s seemed so long ago. I just turned 37 and I am still in your state of mind. All my friends got married in their mid to late 20’s and now have 2-3 kids and I never did either of those things in my 20’s. I still haven’t.
    Being an Adult to me is making sure the bills are paid, I show up to work on time, have food and a roof over my head, after that it is whatever. Growing up is always optional, being mature is a choice!!!!
    Get post

  67. boozilla says:

    Nicely said! I was doing a spot of paw holding with a 26 year old friend recently, covering all these ideas. Wish you’d been there!
    I also think you can’t restrict yourself to either dreaming a life or living the dream, or even doing only both those things. There’s so much you can’t possibly imagine ahead both wonderful and eye wateringly horrible and insanely funny and ridiculously perplexing, it ultimately comes down to the most efficient thing: which is to live the life as it comes up, every day. The dreams come into being as you live into the proper questions. In your twenties and thirties those questions are still elusive. ( As I recall. *ahem*) I managed, as a result of several direct blows to the head, heart and gut, and with what degree of success still unknown, to whittle it down to just staying in the Present. It does get to be more fun once you get out of the twenties though- perhaps there is a Lugubrious Hormone? Also, there may be no more gin allowed in by your system. Vodka is an acceptable substitute- chilled and, um, shaken.

  68. ashleemae says:

    My driver’s license says I’m 30 but I wholeheartedly disagree with it. I quite enjoyed (and identified with) your post…The thing is, I may be a card-carrying member of the grown-up world but most days I feel like a big faker.

    By the way…If you think the random thinking about milk is bad now, wait a little while…Holy hell, I get lost in my thoughts about the most ridiculous things. Today I had visions of toilet paper dancing in my head and had no idea someone was speaking to me.

  69. Comire says:

    Reblogged this on The Compulsive Squire and commented:
    As a twenty-something year old, not only do I empathize with this, I want to squeeze at its tit and bathe in its milk of truth.

  70. omgsianz says:

    lol funny post! trust me you will never know what it’s like to be an adult, you just act more and more mature because your face and body will one day no longer correspond with your childish thoughts and ideas and inclinations which will never go away haha i’m almost 30 and i keep wondering when i’ll start feeling my age and it just never happens :p

  71. John S says:

    I can tell you, even in your fifties, you still haven’t worked everything out. It’s a never ending journey – not such a bad thing.

  72. Pingback: On Turning 25 | notesonawire

  73. Grumpa Joe says:

    Yep, the same ten apply to a seventy-something too. Good luck with the next fifty years because every decade you will review these ten rules and they will stand true.

  74. nerdshirtsandcardigans says:

    Oh too true! The 20s are something I can’t wait to get out of. Growing up isn’t everything they chalked it up to be at all!

  75. MetroNaturale says:

    Your post made me realize that 30 is really like being 20 again. I commend you : )

  76. Jessie Lea Pingle says:

    Oh, honey. This post just brought back so many memories of my 20’s! Now at the ripe old age of 35 (gag) I can assure you that my 30’s (so far) are SO much better. I know what you mean about life getting more tragic. That’s the only thing that just gets worse, sad to say. But the joys are even greater, so it balances out 🙂 Great post!

  77. wanderlust misfit says:

    Haha I loved it! The wit was only decoration to the truth you spoke; we’re twenty-something but we’re still young and lost. I’m 23 but I honestly feel like I’m 18, there’s still so much I don’t understand and still need to grasp about basic human actions. I’m passed the point of drinking till I puke, but I still love drinking. The same is easily said about women, though I suppose the context for that is quickly perverted (too much too quick, but enjoying the slower pace)!
    The only criticism I would like to lend is that #7 was waay too drawn out. Otherwise, I’m definitely going to subconsciously find inspiration from this, because I’m sure it will be on my mind for days to come. Thanks!

  78. Ahh!! Everyone I know is getting married..

    Great post! 🙂 And congrats on getting FP!

    Edwin

  79. Fiona.q says:

    the conversation in 8 is so damn interesting!

  80. dederants says:

    Reblogged this on DeDeRants and commented:
    Everything in this post is legit. Mind you, this is coming from a 25 (and a half) year-old woman who still lives with her mother and cat 😀

  81. Claire Lopez says:

    Wait til your 50’s…….. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

  82. hey, great post! witty and entertaining at the same time. loved how you wrote about it 🙂

  83. I can relate to all 10! fantastic post!

  84. rainey says:

    I have two daughters in their twenties; all of this rings so true. They also don’t tell you that when you look back at your twenties, you will one day wish you were as “fat” as you were then! Nice post.

  85. Quizikle says:

    I can still add … so I can calculate well enough to figure out when I was 24
    (subtract 3, carry the 1… oh, wow!)

    Hate to tell you, you’ve got all the symptoms of “being an adult” already.
    Put this away and re-read it in 5, 10, 40 years.
    Most of this will not have changed

    “Everything You Needed To Know, You Learned In Kindergarten”
    The rest is survival and as it is now, shall it ever be forevermore
    (Hill? What hill? I don’t remember any hill…)

    Congratulations on achieving adulthood. Enjoy. It can be quite fun.
    Excellent post by the way.

  86. caitlin says:

    Reblogged this on Living on the Moon and commented:
    This is so true! I didn’t realize these changes when I just turned 20. But now, four years later, I’m heading into Bschool study and really need to adjust myself to the new career-friends-family relationship. Sometimes this made me sad, depressed, or even manic, but every now and then I know this whole changing process is what we call “grow up”.

  87. Cheer up. Life is great after 50. Seriously.

  88. Vilipend says:

    Hahah, I just entered my 20’s and you are right on everything. Great post.

  89. blackangelsnyc says:

    Reblogged this on Black Angels NYC.

  90. mpar37 says:

    Reblogged this on IT IS WHAT IT IS and commented:
    LoL GREAT post! I can relate to entirely too much of this.

  91. Wow, this is amazingly written…and also slightly scary. I’m still in my early twenties. Is this what I have to look forward to?

    • Tiara says:

      Make most of your time ! I wanted to turn 21 and 25 so desperately and I cried on my 26th coz time is running out and I haven’t done as much as I had hoped I would ! Sigh !

  92. Sanya Kapoor says:

    i have a question. What about people(like me), who are 23, work 9-5, live with my brother, single and stressed? when do we get to grow up? can i skip over to the 30’s? you’re just a year older, but i hope a lot wiser. So tell me, please…. when does one stop caring?

  93. Cafe23 says:

    Lol! Awesome post. Totally made me feel nostalgic. Are you in your early 20s? Because this reminded me of my early 20s. Now I’m in my last year of the 20s and some of those things have changed. The 30s will probably bring on another set of things nobody warned me about. But somehow I feel like things’ll just get better from here 🙂

  94. iLike!! xD. Can relate to most of your points. Well written with a good splash of humour 🙂

  95. Jox says:

    Right at this moment, I’m at the airport figuring my life out but at the same time I’m headed to something for this is the “adult” thing to do, having that direction. I agree on most points especially on figuring ourselves out like adolescents. Great post!

  96. i like the post I’m NOT on my 20s but my daughter is lol I tell her to read this post@

  97. Dee says:

    I have come to realize most if not all of these things while being in my twenties.. I’m not even halfway through them and I understand pretty much all of the above.
    It’s odd to think back, and realize that I don’t care as much as I used to and that I’m still growing.
    When will that stop? Or that I will never feel older than 20 – I don’t think I will.

  98. mymiamaxwell says:

    Reblogged this on Mia Maxwell…Undressed and commented:
    I can so relate to most of this…except, I’m a mother and, for the most part, spoken for:)

  99. treehousemurmers says:

    Reblogged this on treehousemurmers and commented:
    At twenty-two…I’m going to do my bestest to avoid some of these. Metabolism woe.

  100. Tiara says:

    Haha totally love it ! I grew up thinking 21 and 25 would be life changing and awesome ! At 26 I’m hoping 30 will make up for it :S
    While being in your 20’s means you’re an adult(legally) and are (hopefully) financially independent , it also means you’re expected to know everything and do things right ! If you’re an Indian kid in your mid to late 20’s then the pressure to find a life partner starts creeping in and no matter how happy,social or succesfull you are , people around you seem to overlook all those if you’re unmarried or better still single. Sometimes I just want to press the pause button in life ! What happened to allll those big plans we had as teens – when I get out of college I’ll travel the world and make the difference I want to ! Things sure seem to move slowly on this side of the 20’s ! Does anybody else out there wish they could hit the pause button so they can make more out of 24-26 ? ….

  101. arieszai says:

    OMG! I’m 27!!~ no wonder my 20’s-like-reality are HAUNTING me!!!~
    same here….. people around me get married, having children while I’m still with my single life….
    and owh during college I always stayed up late till morning, going lectures till noon/evening, then sleeping like dead till 12/1am…. those went around and around everyday,
    but now my time limit at 0200hrs….I’ll automatically fell asleep (though I have something to do at that time)
    so those who in 20’s, value your life ^^

  102. This was a fantastic entry. I can identify with every single point.

    Especially the part where you thought about milk.

  103. Rai says:

    I kind of thought life would be like you imagined it when I started college.
    And then Fate was like, SURPRISE.
    And I was like, fuck.

  104. jennyg82 says:

    I’m 29, and I now know one thing. Just one. I like cats better than dogs. And I don’t feel bad about it, No guilt; no, “I would be so much cooler if I liked dogs better than cats…” Nothing. I finally trust myself to own my preference. This may not seem like much, but just know, it’s taken me years to get here, and I wouldn’t trade the wisdom for the world. Fabulous post.

  105. Nice writing style, it held me engrossed till the very end. That, and also, I’m a 20 something myself 🙂

  106. Bianca says:

    I am in my early 20’s and I still don’t feel like an adult at all. I can relate to nearly everything you have mentioned. I still wonder when I will grow up and start acting like an “adult.” Fantastic post!!

  107. bxtez says:

    Reblogged this on bxtez and commented:
    Feel like reblogging, and the “Life becomes more tragic” part is just bitterly true. Darn.

  108. so true..!!! even feeling myself also on your place…it’s really amazing…
    liked it….

  109. This posting is really good one. I liked it very much, because it suits me perfectly….. Thanks for sharing.

  110. This… was fantastic. I’m turning 27 this year and I identify with every word of this post.

  111. Roshni says:

    I totally identify with the last two (or is it three, since 8 and 9 are combined into one?) points mentioned. Now, when my younger sister talks about how difficult her exams are and how she’s tensed about it, I tell her it’s no big deal… And throughout school years, I thought 20’s would be like the starting of adulthood…but I don’t see any difference in the way I’m. Atleast not in a way that would make me seem (or even feel) like an adult. Yes, I have changed but definitely, not like an adult! Loved your post!

  112. Ocean Muse Designs says:

    Reblogged this on I Can't Stop Raving.

  113. We are constantly moving and we are ways asking these big, vague, existential questions. All we can really do when facing sorrow is try to adjust and learn. Great post. I’ll be turning 20 in August and I’m trying to adapt. I’m asking myself “when exactly did I stop being a little girl?”. It seems like you’re bogged down by some ennui and I think I can relate to that. You’re feeling hollow for no particular reason. I like to lay on the grass on warm days and just be. Just be.

  114. I’m a 23 year old nanny, almost two years out of college at this point, and completely confused as to what this illusive “real world” is like. After extensive research on WebMD and Wikipedia, I’ve narrowed down my interloper existence between childhood and adulthood as a quarter-life crisis, or flippancy.

    The other day, the kiddo I watch asked me what it’s like being an adult. I waited a good minute, praying he’d forget his question and focus his attention to the bug on the table, but alas, he did not.

    “I don’t know, buddy. I don’t think I’m much of an adult yet. I guess I’ll let you know when I get there.”
    “Well, when are you going to get there?”
    “Crap.”

    If only i had found this post sooner. Then I could have shoved him in front of the monitor and allowed him to read his future. Because this post? Spot on and much more succinctly put than I could ever explain to him.

    THANK YOU.

  115. I’m 22 now and I love everything you’ve written here! 8, 9 and 8+9 especially appeal to me.
    Well done on the FP by the way 🙂

  116. jadeluv28 says:

    Haha, this really makes me laugh. I am in my thirties and this sums up the twenties to a tee!! I remember this like it was just yesterday. Love your posts!!

  117. Polish Girl says:

    Hahaha. Bardzo śmieszny.

    • Doctor Quack says:

      Dziękuję. Bardzo mi podoba się język polski, ale bardzo trudno się uczyć. Wydaję mi się, że kiedy staję się coraz starszy, język staje się trudniejszy.

      Czy mieszkasz w Polsce?

  118. jayeshomg says:

    This is an amazing post. Full of humor and events ready to teach the unknown.

  119. Bobbee La Foi says:

    Reblogged this on BobbeLaFoi and commented:
    I love.

  120. lilbrigs says:

    I turn 20 in August. Now I’m a little scared.

  121. I am still 23. And feeling like a teenager. Its really strange feeling.

  122. Stop whining and welcome to the world of reality mate. Tell you what, keep it planted in your mind and you will ended up with depression, suicide as the trophy. Well, take your time and enjoy a little because here… you got responsibility on yourself.
    So, all in all, don’t get me wrong mate. Adult, teenage, mature, seventeens, twenties and all, are merely names. They are meant to tell us to live on.

    Aye then, off me go..
    have a pleasant day!!

    P.S. I like reading this as I like watching sitcom… Good writing anyway.
    P.P.S. I usually laugh ironically when watching sitcom. It’s like “Hahahaha… what a bollocks” or, “Oi, what’s with this bugger anyway?! Don’t they got brain to use of ‘thinkingmatters'”

  123. citronsaft says:

    Weird. I’m older than you and still recognize most of this (not from my own 20’s, but from far more recently). In any case, think I can relate.

  124. lorijss says:

    Wow I can relate to every little detail of it. “And thus is the beauty of the lonely twenties: it is a decade devoted purely to the molding of oneself into a better human being. So why am I wasting it on the internet?” Very true question I ask myself everyday.

    • seejennyrun105 says:

      A true question I ask myself every day, and then realize I probably wouldn’t like the answer, so I keep doing it anyway.

  125. lillianccc says:

    I’m totally in the same boat as you and I continue to tell all my friends who are still in school that they don’t know how good they’ve got it. Worrying about tests starts looking pretty attractive when you compare it to the alternative of worrying what you’re gonna do for the rest of your life. Great post! And congrats on the Freshly Pressed!

    • Caroline says:

      Back then, I thought working was “easier” than all the things we had to do for school. I guess this should show us that life is never too simple at any point, and we should just enjoy. I’ve just graduated, and I need to remind myself of that!

  126. Pingback: Being in my 20s | Sherbet and Sparkles

  127. People tend to mentally see themselves as young no matter what world sees or the mirror shows.

  128. What a wonderful resource that WordPress blog sharing is for all of us. Without a doubt, the blog sites on WordPress shares the best within all of us. Even though I cannot relate to many of these emotions at a recent turning of seventy, I can relate to never accepting our aging from the youthful spirit within me, that dances within me, each day. Thank you for sharing this.

  129. annlistyana says:

    I will end my 20 in this year to be 21. damn is true

  130. jessicajhill says:

    Well said, Doc! I’m 25 and I agree with everything you said. When I was 16, I used to think all the 20-somethings I knew had it all together. They seemed so….adult! But now I’m teaching English to teenagers in Thailand, and I can tell they view me the same way. Which is entirely a false representation I’ve had to carry on for the sheer fact that somehow I’ve managed to become such a figure that students are supposed to look up to. Fake it ’till we make it?

  131. haha! awesome post – I love the conversation in point 9..
    ~No matter how bad it is, think positive because it can always be a hell of a lot worse! 😄

    I’ll turn 18 after summer, then it’s not very much time left. Thanks for warning me! ;p

  132. Truly amazing writing! And also, very truth.

  133. Hi bro even i am belongs to early 20s….. and i am facing same problem wat you were

  134. leeleegirl4 says:

    Reblogged this on Leeleegirl's Life.

  135. maysea says:

    In my twenties. And i hit the like button. Need I say more? :/

  136. rfletc0 says:

    Is Philip J. Fry the torch-bearer for my people?

    Yep!

  137. goolimaar says:

    Hi! I have to say that I love your post! And I don;t know if it was your intention to, but there are parts in which I was laughed my ass off, çause even though I’m just gonna be 17 this year, there were actually some things that I kinda felt related to…And you may say “you are just a kid, not even 18, you can’t relate…” Well, I don;t know but there are times in which I don;t really feel 16. Of course I am silly and goofy but that’s just my personality; but when it comes to serious moments of thinking and meditation, I’m not really like most of the other girls my age. Which by the way they are just thinking about going to parties dressed with tiny skirts and long heels, making out with 4 boys in the same night, getting drunk or even high…Well you know, stuff like that. Well I guess I used to be lika that but like 2 years ago (I actually anticipated myself). But know all I wanna do is finish high school as soon as possible, study what I want and like in college, use my brand new computer to write all days, be with my friends, travel, get to know the meanings of life and what is my goal in this life o my mission as I like to say…I just want to meet new people, travel, try new experiences and save a lot of memories that I will still be thinking of even when I’m 80 (hopefully I’ll get to that age and live maybe a little bit more). Of course there are a lot of things that still get me very confused and even frustrated at times, well I don;t feel like a 16 year old. but truth is that I am, so…There are things I still don;t get about myself or other’s people behavior, or maybe unfortunate events that happen in life out of nowhere.
    I am also realizing that your post actually has inspired me in many ways and has got me thinking about many things. As you can see I just wanted to tell you that I liked your post and that also thought it was funny. But now, I am also telling you a minimum amount of my life and how I feel about myself right now…Well maybe not how I feel but just how I see or I don’t see myself in this moment of life. I would say this big transition in which I am going to be in college in almost an exact year and I really need to think about my plan or at least what I’m going to study so that I can define myself as someone or at least define a part of my life or what I am going to do for the rest of my life…
    Anyways, now that I’ve written you some of my concerns, I would really appreciate that you would answer me and maybe give some advises or something! I don’t know… I really like to see what would you respond to me considering that I liked your post and it seems that you are a bit sarcastic and humurous and I really consider myself like that sometimes so take at least 10 minutes of your time and write me!! =)

  138. catie says:

    Love this post. as a twenty-something I totally see what you are talking about

  139. StephBristow says:

    Just like to thank you for putting the humour back in to my twenties, I have been going around wondering what the hell to do with myself, not quite getting to grips with no longer being a teenager! I relate to everything you’ve said, I’m turning 22 in two months and can’t quite believe it, hopefully by my 30’s I’ll have it all sussed out (although most likely…not)
    Amazing post! x

  140. truthspew says:

    Your 30’s should be pretty easy sailing. And then the 40’s hit. The early 40’s aren’t so bad, but the slide towards 50… eeeeeeeeeeee!

  141. sno9400 says:

    I whole heatedly agree.. in particular number 5… sleep just sounds better

  142. daubphoto says:

    This is a tad bit depressing to someone that just turned 18….. I’ll have to think about not turning 20 for a while. AND HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE GREAT GATSBY AHHHH?!?!?!??! then again you wouldnt really give a shit….

  143. James says:

    What you may learn in your 30s, 40s and 50s is that your 20s had the potential to be the greatest time ever in your life. So why are you wasting it on the Internet?

  144. rmv says:

    the reason the twenty’s are the new teen’s is because parents and adults are letting teens slide through those years without facing any responsibilities. parents do everything for teens without letting them learn any lifeskills. so your teens, which are supposed to be filled with learning, intense learning, are becoming a playground.

    then you (not YOU personally) get to your 20’s and you haven’t really learned how to do anything yet on your own.

    good luck.

  145. maudlin says:

    What a nice post – very recognizable, and funny despite some tragic touches. No one actually does segue into adulthood as smoothly as they’re always made out to, do they?

  146. rMU says:

    Reblogged this on The story of Paro and commented:
    Check out this really funny post that got freshly pressed today. Though I have just started out on the twenties road, I can say that all of these are turning out to be true. Even the terrible #4 where some of my friends are beginning to get married. For #7 I know that I am getting bad at picking up languages or anything for that matter. I don’t know if this is an issue of our time and age, but my attention span has become the size of an anorexic cat.
    Whats worse for me is that I often forget that life is just a ride and am still stuck in the vacuum of worrying about term paper submissions. Uggh!

  147. Tracy says:

    Sheesh, am I the oldest one here? I just turned 49 and gotta warn you that some time between the ages of 30 and 40 is when your body starts getting goofy. Metabolism slooooooows to a crawl. You can’t drink like you used to. If you never needed glasses, you might need them now to read restaurant menus. And if you’re a girl, you’d better either already have children or suffer through the paranoia of having a malformed baby if you’re still lucky enough to be able to become pregnant (don’t go by those Hollywood stars who have surrogates and majorly expensive fertility treatments; we mere mortals can’t afford that sort of thing).

    You know, that last is something that so few women of my age and a tad younger were taught to be concerned about. My generation acted as if menopause doesn’t even EXIST. We obviously knew that intellectually, so many people my age focused on career and travel, only to find out that they’re now 40 and infertile. The time to have babies is in your 20s, if at all possible. The eggs start dying off fast once you hit 30. Just wanted to warn the sistahs out there…

    But what I really wanted to write about is that no matter how old you are, you’re still YOU. You always feel like YOU. I’m almost 50, but can remember well what I was like when I was 16 and couldn’t imagine being the age I am now. I’m still THAT person, that 16-year old crazy chick. And now that I know that you always feel “like you,” I’m looking forward to being a wrinkly, gray-haired 90-year old (pray God) woman cranking up the Zeppelin and such. What a pretty picture!

    I also want to say that there *are* answers to those existential questions and that those sorts of crises don’t have to be a part of life forever. I went through all that in a very deep and really destructive way, but finally was able to come to a religious faith in Jesus. I know it’s unfashionable (ha, to say the least) to be a “Christer,” and the mere mention of Christianity (especially my brand of it, Catholicism) is enough to get the eyes rolling and daggers drawn, but I challenge all who are going through an existential Hell and who might have a reactionary sort of reflex against the whole concept of religion to do two things: 1) write down what your complaints are against Catholicism and then go see how Church teachings and HISTORY respond to them (not the New York Times or Bill Maher or dissident Catholics, but official Church teaching), and 2) pray to the “If-You-Are-There-God” to simply know what is true. Dat’s all! As you were! Didn’t want to go all religious on y’all, but the mention of existential crises reminded me of too much pain to not say something that might help somebody out there…

  148. heycrin says:

    Such a good post, and as someone fully emerged in the post-university pre-career stage of my twenties, I think about all of these points at least once daily. Depressing times but at least the best is yet to come!

    Please God!

  149. laurenmeredithbowman says:

    ‘The Lonely Twenties’ – possibly the best way I’ve heard anybody put it before. Loved the bit about the lack of shows and movies based on this part of life. I’m studying screenwriting and my big project is writing a sitcom about being in that awkward out-of-college, not yet through the gates into the real world period of life. Glad to see I am not alone!

  150. James says:

    Hey, total stranger here, but you and I are about five years removed from one another and I can relate very well to just about everything you said, especially the algebra thing….I wonder why that is?! I hit 30 in 2011 and it blew my mind. Even if I wanted to, I could not call myself a kid anymore and it kind of scared me…enough that I started babbling on about it here.(shameless plug) http://thirtyyearsandcounting.wordpress.com/ I guess the one lesson I have learned in all of this is that there are no plans in life, only events. Things will happen, good and bad and it’s simply how we react that shapes who we are. When I graduated high school (Class of ’99, yeah!) the Me I planned on being was not the Me I am today by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t regret a thing. Trudge on and good things will happen.

  151. Probably the most astute analysis of the Second Great Awkwardness (adolescence being the First Great Awkwardness) that I’ve seen in a long while. I suspect the next list begins with “1. Thirty is not death”, but until that rears its head, I’m going to be referring back to this as a touchstone of wisdom.

    Also, don’t feel bad about Polish. Polish is f’in hard. 🙂

  152. Reading your insights was like talking to myself. Hahaha! Very well said my friend. 🙂

  153. Vaiva K. says:

    Veyr funny, but why didi you need to learn Lithuanian? Or why did you even take that class?

    i am Lithuanian and I thing the language is ridiculously difficult to learn ( am surprised I did it and I was born here! ;D ). I teach English and if I ever get to do teh way around – to teach Lithuanian to foreigners I want to shoot myself right away…

    A very fun post. Just had to read it sooner ;))

    http://www.dressupforme.wordpress.com

    • Doctor Quack says:

      You know, I’m not too sure why I took Lithuanian. I went to Vilnius with my high school choir, and I liked the city so much that I wanted to find out everything I could about the Lithuanian language and culture. I saw the class as a way I could go back to Lithuania and submerse myself successfully. Unfortunately, when I went back to Lithuania, I couldn’t understand a word of what people were saying, and a year later I pretty much lost the whole language.

  154. Pingback: 10 Things Nobody Warned Me about my Twenties | Infos Press

  155. hachimipark says:

    wa!
    seeing myself in almost every point
    except i still ask myself a lot “who am i? where am i going?” and stuff
    then again, at the end im like “meh! whatever, im on my way to something anyway!”
    i have lots of younger friends, and this kind of “being on my twenties” gets more obvious with that, i often see myself thinking, with my teenager friends specially, “wow! was i like that annoying and demanding and worrying about such stupid stuff when i was a teen?!”
    *loves this post*

  156. Tyler Durdan says:

    Reblogged this on Downtown Crossing and commented:
    I’ve been thinking of doing a post like this for weeks now. Doctor Quack captured it a lot better than I could have.

  157. Is your real name really Doctor Quack?!

  158. Hey Doc, this is Just marvelous. It is so very Spot On!
    Being in my mid 50s I still remember being that way then as you are now. I have to say that I don’t think I really felt like a real adult until I was surprised with the words “I want a divorce” OUCH. At that moment I felt I had become a bonafide American adult. That sucked. That happened in my 30s.
    Life did and does get better.!!

    I have some suggestions for All of you who are at this great age! Do these things Now while you Are at this great age!

    1. Remember it well

    2. Hurry up and make your bucket list

    3. Act on some of the more challenging items NOW before you get encumbered with a wife/husband/mate, kids, pets, mortgage and other never ending bills, RESPONIBILITIES!

    4. If you want to travel, (and I do strongly suggest you so SOME traveling), travel light and GO PLACES NOW. All over America, or all over the world. And document them well. Your future kids will just not believe that You used to hang with (insert famous persons name here), or really did live in a tent for a year in some foreign land, or what ever you choose to do.

    5. Be irresponsible (responsibly, we want to read about all of your journeys and you will want to be able to do the Adult thing—it’s really pretty good when you get to be a grandparent!! It’s the secret purpose for having Kids- lol)

    6. NEVER take your self too seriously! Many people will thing yu are special, but none of us is THAT SPECIAL! 

    I so envy you being at this true crossroads in your life.

    This sound like a great blog idea- hmmm Where is my Pencil

    God Bless. Air Cooled Underware.

  159. Pingback: Is It Too Late To Be Young? « 30 Years And Counting

  160. Rara Avis says:

    God, I’m nineteen and I feel like this is my life exactly, minus the alcohol. Doesn’t it get any different later on?

  161. keri says:

    Wow. I’m really impressed with your insight! As a 30-something who is trying to make up for her 20s (spent way too much time partying, so now I’m going to college), it’s very refreshing to hear your point of view. Great stuff…

  162. Pingback: 10 Things Nobody Warned Me about my Twenties « Dark of the Matinee

  163. elisa beth says:

    You know what’s the best part of this post? Every damn thing. Because they are all true. Great one! I’ll turn 20 this year and… I hope this post help ❤

  164. mari says:

    20’s are a prelude to 30’s. After 30 life is more of you discover in your 20’s. and so on and so on! great piece!

  165. leahmartinez says:

    I’m having the same feeling as you are.. funny post. good job.

  166. john says:

    The fun starts at age 50. Hope you prepare yourself for an adventure!

  167. Gretchen Wieners says:

    this is fantastic. i can related to almost all of these. i love it.

  168. madeeha says:

    Haha, I love #5.
    I still remember the days I could stay up forever. Now, I have an unwritten bedtime!! Damn 😀

  169. aver1 says:

    just came across your blog. you need to read my post from yesterday. i smiled all the way through your article! when i was your age ( ugh…i’m at THAT age where i can say that), i felt much the same way as you. it gets so much better with each passing year and each gray hair! you are a talented writer and storyteller. keep up the good work. your keen insight will serve you well no matter what road you decide to travel and no matter how many detours you will be forced to take. yes, there are always detours and yes, they usually prove to be the most fun trips imaginable!!! peace to you…

  170. beautycrasher says:

    Wow! I’m going with Alexei on this… you’re writing is fantastic and intriguing. I need to open up my vocabulary! Through your wonderful rant, I learned and realized so much. I can absolutely relate to all of these, it is actually terrifying!! I’m 23 and it’s almost as if you’ve told my life story thus far. Amazing piece of writing. I wish you could write a book, I’d read it and buy it a thousand times!! Well put and well done. I will most definitely read your words for as long as I can. Thanks… 🙂

  171. David Gillaspie says:

    One of the best reasons for Freshly Pressed is this warning post. You nailed it. A couple of extras:

    In your twenties you turn into someone’s uncle or aunt. Even if you’re an only child you get tagged.

    In your thirties you either wear a tie, or explain to the tie-phobic which tie completes their outfit.

    In your forties you convince yourself you played in the NFL, NBA, MLB, and won gold at some Olympics.

    In your fifties you start seeing plastic surgery on people you thought looked okay without the nip/tuck. You start thinking about it when they break out their surgery video and add the play by play. You run for your life when they show you the simple cuts you’ll need with their fingernail if you want to look like them.

    The choices seem to be grow up, grow old, or find that person to grow with. From reading you, you’ll be fine. Thanks,

    David

  172. beautycrasher says:

    reblogged on http://www.beautycrasher.com – not only about beauty and fashion!! Follow 🙂

  173. beautycrasher says:

    Reblogged this on Beauty Crasher.

  174. hi ,
    im a preofessional eye surgeon going through the rigeur de jour of being a professional student…

    i would like permission to alter your post [ to my situation and location] and re post it .. you will be quoted and acknowledged accordingly..

    sailing in the same aimless boat…

    Dr adsmad

  175. Annie ♥ says:

    That was AWESOME!! I’m in my 40’s, I still feel like I’m 15, and I act like it most of the time… By the way your 40’s comes with divorces, illnesses, deceased parents, gray hair, and bad backs. But I’m a child of the 70’s, and I got to stand in line for Star Wars, I went to the Police’s Synchronicity concert when I was 16, I partied my ass off in the 80’s, and I wear crosses sometimes around my neck because it reminds me of how much I loved Madonna. Stay young, keep writing, and print out and hold on to what you write. That’s how we did it, ‘cuz we didn’t have these things called “computers” back in the day. Thanks for writing!

    Annie
    http://www.dirtyblondeink.com

    • Ivynettle says:

      I’m kinda relieved to hear people older than me still feel like they’re 15 – everyone laughed at me when I told my ten-years-younger cousin, “no, you can’t turn 15 – I’m still fifteen in my head!”
      I still feel like this whole job-and-living-on-my-own is just a massive game of make-believe.Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was playing house in my wardrobe? Well, now I’ve got a whole apartment to do it, but it still doesn’t feel real.
      And I still occasionally stop and think random things like, “Holy shit, I have my own laundry pins!”

  176. Glad to hear I’m not the only one. Being the studious type, I assumed I’d graduate college and plunge myself into a career in my field in some city my parents didn’t live in. As a 20-something boomerang, I’m learning to live with reality and figure out how to do better in the comming years. Maybe I could even review some of that stuff from high school I don’t remember.

  177. Gary says:

    Spot on! Just wait until your 30’s!

  178. Nice weblog. Thanks for sharing the info. I just came here to let you I like the blog. I am happy to find much useful information in the post, writing sequence is awesome, and I always look for quality content, thanks for sharing.

  179. You said it well. As encouragement, life doesn’t quit as you get older, it just changes. I turned 50 this year. I’m still learning, still sharing, traveling, creating and loving. The above comment by “Joy” said it quite well.

    You have to build your life. In my 20s I thought life would unfold, simply happen. Actually, it takes commitment, sweat-equity, dreams and purposeful thinking to move forward. My dad is 83. My mom passed away last May and I was afraid Dad would curl up and die, too. He didn’t. He’s building a new life–slowly, painfully, purposefully. He has much to offer our family. Age is just a number.

    You wrote a great post. Thank you for helping me remember what it was like to in my 20s, and making me grateful I’m in my 50s.

  180. Like about the other 198 comments or so: very well written and – ouch – so to the point!!
    At this time of my life I can only add “Don’t fall for that ‘ …is the new 20/30’s …” thing. I haven’t quite figured out why the media is trying to sell us that idea – but I will get behind it sometime. (Even if it kills me! 😉 ) Right now – and I hope it blows over – it feels like a whole lot ‘a BS.

    Hitting 37 this summer, looking like 28, still feeling like when I was 24 – no own home, no marriage, not even a relationship … I am even more confused than when I was in your 20’s. Having achieved things in life, I wonder now more then ever if there is a huge “L” attached to my forehead.

    One thing I know for sure now: that proverb “you only regret the things you haven’t done” is annoyingly correct. Chase your dreams. Even if it means to fall flat on your face and being disappointed. There might be a reason for it then and there that you only will understand later on.

    Good luck with your journey in life!

  181. annewhitaker says:

    “The Cycles of Saturn – forging the “Diamond Soul” – if you are approaching thirty, this will help!
    Check it out…..

    Like this post – how about updating it a decade from now?

    All good wishes from Scotland

    Anne

  182. Jan says:

    Love it! I could feel myself nodding my head to each and every point. Well written!!

  183. MarinaSofia says:

    I won’t even go there… commenting about how life is in the 30’s. But I loved this blog and am sharing it with my niece, soon to turn 20.

  184. Love your writing. The obsevation about the creep of abstract thoughts was right on target and I hate to say, increases with age. It made me laugh till I cried.
    I was just commenting to a friend the other day that I wondered what the 20 somethings would think if they knew that no matter how old you get you still feel that you are in your twenties inside.
    Ouch, still having those 20 something feelings inside and feeling old on the outside.
    The thing they don’t warn you about is that the time to be happy and relax into your life is now. And that holds true if you are 18, 25, 40, or 65.
    Congratulations on being freshly pressed.

  185. C says:

    nice reflective post! 🙂 congrats on freshly pressed!

  186. chordatympani says:

    Reblogged this on ChordaTympanii.

  187. So this is a lot I’d write if I wrote like someone who sounded intelligible.
    I remember hearing a long time ago that ‘adulthood’ means taking responsibility, and not killing yourself and others over petty stuff. In some ways, I see that a lot. In other ways, I’d cut the ears off some stupid people. It’s a matter of balance: you can’t make a necklace out of one ear.

  188. thenondailyantics says:

    I’m 21 and you are absolutely right. Twenties is the new teen.
    I am treated like a crazy child at work. 🙂

    Also, I don’t remember most of the things I learned in high school and that was only 4 years ago.

  189. Lynda says:

    This is a great post, it had me laughing quite a bit. Newly 30, I can relate to a lot of what you’ve noted.

  190. bigjuicymango says:

    Love your thoughts. Getting older is definitely a strange and surreal journey – somehow my late 20s have crept up on me unnoticed, baby on the way, taking care of a family…although I still feel like a child.

  191. Sadly enough I think it’s all about appearances and desire. when your young you rush to grow up, when your older you wish to be young and when your ancient, you either just don’t care or you hate anyone younger than you.

  192. I absolutely loved this! When I got to the part when you go grocery shopping at night and fall asleep at 2:30 , I was amazed that i am not the only one that does that! I am 22 and now i know I will never be an “adult” in the common sense! thanks for the chuckle.

  193. As someone at the very end of my twenties, I can say that you really have captured the vacuous nature of this decade. I’ve been writing about similar things in the past few weeks. Since I’m on the precipice of 30, I am hopeful that the next ten years brings a bit more of a clear direction. A more sagely friend once said that you never look as good as you do in your twenties, so take a lot of pictures, but you’ll never feel as good as you do in your thirties.

  194. Take for instance my father-in-law. The man was a stiff no nonsense guy when he was young, everything was something to take serious. Now he eats what he wants, dresses like he wants and his response – I’m too old to care what people think.

  195. Melissa E says:

    This post hit so close to home – I’m a 23 year old and am still trying to figure myself out… maybe I’ll never know – you really touched on some great points. I identified most with the twenties being the new teens. My face still breaks out, I worry about what people think of me, my parents try to tell me what to do… The only thing that’s different is that I work 9-5 and have my own car, haha.

  196. admiralsol says:

    This was a really great post! I turned 20 a year ago… and when I expected change… I got nothing. Things that didn’t make sense in my life, make a little more sense. Not completely, but at least a little bit more, after reading this. In regards to how to expect what being in the 20s will be like.. At least there would be something to look forward to… eventually.

  197. polamiro says:

    Great post!!! My twenties were an extended adolescence. I’m glad they’re over. 🙂

  198. MDawson says:

    I love this post. I turn 25 this year and I can’t believe how much my life has changed from when I was in high school. In HS I tried to be popular (didn’t work out too well…..), I waited at the table for dinner to be ready, I expected school or work (once I turned 14) necessities to just pop out of my closet, ready for me to use. Now….. I actually have to cook (which I’ve discovered I love doing) and I actually have to *gasp* buy my own things. I’m married to the most wonderful man in the world, but ten years ago, I never saw it happening. I thought I’d be living with my parents until I was about the age I’m at and then move out, get my own place and have sleepovers with different men every night of the week. Luckily, things turned out much better than I expected and I am pursuing my passion, but nowadays, I want nothing to do with people or their shit. My brother-in-law just got his license last week. He was 11 when I met him. I feel so much older than I think I should.
    But, all in all, I enjoy the responsibility and I enjoy the freedom. Perhaps I don’t qualify as an adult just yet (we spend a lot of our time where we’re not working or attending to “adult-like duties” playing video games and crap like that) but if I can’t have a little fun once in a while–at any age–then I don’t want to be counted as an adult. Let me work and pay my bills, but in my free time, I want to stay up until midnight (I don’t know how you stay up any later than that!!) (actually, I have quite a few overnights, but with more repercussions now then when I was younger) and play video games and each peanut butter with melted chocolate. Let it go to my thighs or my butt. I don’t give a shit. I’m enjoying myself, and that’s what life is about.

    Ugh. I got totally off-topic. Maybe this should have been a post in my blog instead of a comment.

    Anyway, great post!

  199. DollyPopper says:

    Thanks for warning me. I’m 21 and I’m learning and recognising some of these warnings that no-one else warned me about.

  200. jonathanochart says:

    I’m turning 20 in May, and I pretty much already experience everything you mentioned! I enjoyed how insightful you were and those great examples/quotes/dialogue really made your piece intriguing…PS when you wrote how everyone you know is getting married while the older man said everyone he knew was dying made me realize that I should really embrace and live life to its fullest now….a little scary but def eye-opening!

  201. polkagirl says:

    Now I know what to expect when I turn 20 in a couple months! I somewhat feel your pain with learning Polish. This is only my second semester taking it, but sometimes I completely blank out or make a stupid mistake in class, even though I know very well what I’m doing! It didn’t help that one time I blurted out “sí” instead of “tak” (I’m in my sixth year of Spanish). Plus I like to mix up “y” and “i” a lot. Oh well, at least it’s easier for me to learn than I thought. My classmates still struggle though. I really liked this post though. 🙂

  202. Jean says:

    #5: Yup, no kiddin’. It’s good to be well-rested. The problem is, as time marches on beyond the 20’s, stuff happens and one loses sleep. And nothin’ to do with partying!

    Make the most of the present with an eye of planning for the near future.

    As for the marriage thing, it’ll pass. The sad thing, there will be at least 1 divorce in your circle of friends.

    2 things that truly make a person an adult:
    *getting married
    *having children and raising them
    *owning/buying a home
    *looking after an elderly parent

    • polamiro says:

      That is so true, i.e., looking after an elderly parent. You couldn’t have put it better. I’ve been there, and it makes you grow up fast, even if you’re in your 20s like I was.

  203. Luna Ghannam says:

    I can relate to every point!The thing is,when we were teens we actually knew that we’ll be going through some interchanges-physically and psychological, but the 20’s doesn’t attract the same attention,maybe because we’re assumed to be “adults” now and therefore expected to know how to handle it ourselves,but truth is 20’s really is teenage years dressed in camouflage-with all the confusion and disorientation!

    Amazing post!

  204. ClassyAudge says:

    I really liked this post, I’m only 22 and most of my friends are already married and having babies, some are even on their second. I’ve always thought my late twenties would be the time when I found out who I really was, maybe its because I watch too many coming of age movies (enter Garden State).

  205. Reblogged this on The World's Moving Backwards and commented:
    I couldn’t agree more with everything on this list.

  206. I’m 22 and I feel like this is all kind of bogus. You can be as much of an adult as you want to be, whatever “being an adult” means to you. And it wouldn’t be life if everything came with a warning or directions. I can relate to some of the things you wrote, but in the end I was just left thinking, “Yeah, BFD. Figure it out.” When I was 18 I left home and moved to a different country. I still haven’t finished college, and I move around a lot, but I enjoy my life and cherish my crazy experiences. To me, my twenties should be for pushing the limits and exploring the world. Not for wondering if I’m an adult enough, or worrying about my direction.

  207. Hetal says:

    so apt! Brought a smile on my face 🙂 Thanks@

  208. koktales says:

    Just what i needed to hear right now…supposed to be searching for postgrad jobs but instead write blogs about feaces and weirdos. Who wants to grow up anyway?!

  209. polamiro says:

    In fact, my twenties were….chaotic. Coming from a really conservative Catholic family, I didn’t really have an adolescence in high school. I wasn’t allowed to go out, and all I did was study. So my twenties gave me the chance to finally have an adolescence. Thankfully, I didn’t go wild and crazy, but I made it a point to go out and meet people from all different cultures and backgrounds.

    By doing this, I started growing up slowly, but surely expanding my horizons. And yet, even if you did have a normal adolescence unlike me, your twenties are an adolescence regardless, i.e., what you said in #10: You’re still changing.

    The person I was when I was 22 was definitely not the person I was when I was 24, and each year after that, I kept changing. Then, when I reached 30, I stopped giving a shit about things I used to give a shit about. But I would like to share some pearls of wisdom regarding marriage.

    Many of my friends got married either right after college or sometime during their twenties. Doctor Quack, beware of falling into this trap because you are still changing. People are still changing. Now, because I now realize how immature we all were in our twenties, I will expand here on the reasons why some people I know got married: Please notice that these reasons are not good reasons to get married, but somehow, when you’re in your twenties, they make sense:

    –“Well, we dated in college, and I don’t think anyone else will want me, so I’ll get married to him.”
    –“I don’t want to get to 30 and be a single woman. The horror! So my next relationship will end up in marriage, I’ll make sure of that.”
    –“She doesn’t thrill me that much….I mean, she doesn’t have a sense of humor, and I find her boring, but she comes from a good family, so I’ll marry her.”
    –“I can’t live alone. It drives me mad.”
    –“We’ve been together for so long, and when I tell people that we’re not married, they just stare at me. I hate those stares. So we should get married as well.”
    –“My girlfriend/boyfriend is putting pressure on me to get married because she/he wants to have kids, and I don’t yet. But we’ve been together for so long, we might as well.”
    –“We’ve been breaking up and making up since college, and now we’re both nearing our early thirties, and since I’ve been having sex with her I have to honor her, and since my parents are putting pressure on me, and her parents too, and she is too, I might as well.”

    Call me a hopeless romantic, but I thought getting married was supposed to be something you really really really wanted to do and not the result of insecurities and caving into pressure?

  210. hisflyness1 says:

    Very intriguing, and full of information.

  211. rbvillar says:

    “Salamat” a thank you would be an understatement I guess. Somehow, being 20 something has become more bearable 😀 When one looks at it from your entry, 20s can actually be fun. Our more adult selves (in the future) would have a blast reminiscing. Thanks again.
    Favorite lines: “8+9. You stop giving a shit about things you used to give a shit about.” and “As long as I don’t have a “career” and my knees still work, I’m not sure I can call myself an adult.”

  212. Stumbled upon this – so apropos! As a woman starting the second phase of her life post divorce, and at the risk of spouting platitudes, they say your 40’s are the new 20’s. Who would have known? Viva youth!
    ~Lil

  213. purevanille1 says:

    So perfect post! I thought I was the only one that forgot entire High School, now I’m comforted. And I can think about milk too, don’t worry,My father keeps saying the 30’s are the best… I really want to believe in him.

  214. digadigadoo says:

    Negaliu patikėti, kad mokeisi lietuvių kalbos! (That’s Lithuanian for ‘I can’t believe you studied Lithuanian’). I’m a native speaker and it impresses me when non-Lithuanians know as much as ‘Labas’ and ‘Kaip sekasi?’, not even talking about ‘Aš valgau jogurtą’ 😀

    Anyway, I’m 20, and I can already see all these things being true. It’s most scary when my little brothers’ friends call me ‘Jūs’ (the polite form of ‘you’ in LT), I certainly don’t feel like an adult. Although sometimes I do call myself ‘a woman’ just to see how it sounds – weird as hell…

  215. Elyse says:

    I wish I had been so wise in my 20s as you. Hell, now that I’m 55, I wish I were as wise as you are. This was brilliant, and I will share it with my just 20 year old son. Because, as you so beautifully put it, life changes as you live it. And nobody remember Algebra.

  216. Thank you DoctorQuack, really. As someone who is about to turn 21, this post has acted as a lantern on a dark and foggy night by bringing knowledge, perspective, and inspiration to my journey.

  217. ryjoca says:

    I really felt the same things as you do. I am 23 and already have 2 kids but I still feel that Im just 16. haha.. Good post.

  218. Pingback: Lost And Found? The 30s Are The New 20s | Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

  219. Yes, well, my adolescence lasted until I was well into my forties, so be prepared for that! Now that I’m in my 50’s (shock, horror) I’m very happy to have many friends in their 40’s, 30’s & 20’s and I mean good friends. I think the best thing you can do is to take risks, ignore labels and trust yourself. Great post Doctor Quack!

  220. seeleyspice says:

    Amen.

  221. Reblogged this on Tangled Up In Daydreams and commented:
    True story.

  222. Rob Watts says:

    I more or less agree with most of what you’re saying but I feel dated when I say that I can’t relate at all to the first post about 20’s being the new 30’s. Maybe it is now. “When I was your age (I’m 43) I was moved out at 17.5 and never looked back. I lived with a relative until my 19th birthday and then I was on my own. I have observed that younger people these days are far less self sufficient (but think they are) and much less capable then when I was young. I know a girl from a farm who’s parents told her she had to go and make her way at 16!! She was given 800 dollars and told to leave. Can you believe that? She’s an extraordinary business woman now.

    I do agree on your comment about relationships ending in marriage sometimes. Too true. I’m no more or less happy in mine than most people and I love my loyal spouse. I will not do this again if I am suddenly single for any reason though. Relationships like people, last much longer than they used to. Both can infringe on your freedom.

  223. tkristenparker says:

    In my twenties I was lost the entire decade. In my thirties I remade myself, and then experienced the loss of my dream. I’m 39 now, and I’m remaking myself yet again. I love your list, but your ideas of self and life will keep changing and evolving. The best, yet most challenging thing about life is, you never swim in the same river twice.

  224. goodoldgirl says:

    If you’re in your mid twenties, then your “group” is Generation Y — aka: The Millennials. Read this:
    http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1437/millennials-profile

    Just so you’ll know, all that angst doesn’t go away when you hit 30, it just intensifies a bit every year til you get to retirement and, if you’re lucky and have put back enough money, you get freedom at last. So, the best advice I can give you, and it’s the same advice I give my own twenty-something child, is to start a 401(k) and/or an IRA now!!

    I really enjoyed reading your post and wish you the best. Keep writing. You’re good!

  225. nihonbecca says:

    Found this from the front page, I’m 22, and can totally relate. Thanks for writing this!

  226. Sunny Styles says:

    I especially like the ‘milk’ comment. I actually laughed out loud. You’re a visionary!

  227. I hit the big 3-0 in October. I am all those things you mentioned. But the one thing that caught me off by suprise, is the stress. I’m a lot more stressed out than when I was in my 20s. There’s just a lot more things I’m worried about besides finishing my course work and graduating on time. I worry about my job, about my kids, and a home I need to pay off.

  228. teepoo says:

    Hahah this was adorable, and as I am turning 24, I’m feeling a ton of the same things. A ton of my friends are suddenly married too. I’ll be on facebook and be like WTF they are married? or WTF WHERE DID THAT KID COME FROM? It’s a strange world being in my 20s.

  229. the777man says:

    What I have learned from my 40’s is: not to give a crap what anyone thinks! It can be fun to be totally uncool! Actually I believe got better at 40 because that is when I no longer cared what people thought of me.

    I remember when all my friends were getting married and I was still single. Then I remember when I got married and they all had kids. Then all of a sudden they were all getting single or were single again, and I was a married mom. Now they are all getting married AGAIN! I am now happily rid of the husband, and single again! LOL! Funny how life works that way! I just hope this go around works out for them!

    Embrace your twenties, travel do all the things you will wish you had done when you are 40. Then you can start all over and do all again when you are 40!

    Peace and Harmony,
    Sj

  230. the777man says:

    Oh one more thing, if you love ducks then you would love where I live! I have hundreds of them outside my bedroom window. I also have a few egrets, some herons, and the usual snakes, lizards and frogs…

    Sj

  231. Ron Hyatt says:

    So, by your measure, being an Adult means conforming. Consume. Obey. Vote Obama.

  232. Addie says:

    Very true, indeed. Especially 2 and 6. I almost shy away from conversations involving finance, stock market, wet market, etc. And #6? I was the class valedictorian. What a shame.

    I really enjoyed reading this I was chortling at every paragraph.:D

    • Addie says:

      And #8, too!

      Lately, it’s becoming my habit to engage strangers in whatever thoughts are swirling in my mind. I asked a taxi driver this infamous question: “How do you imagine yourself ten (or say five) years from now?”

      “I’ll probably be dead. I’m 54.

  233. Jessica says:

    I love this post. I’m turning 27 next month, I’ve been in a relationship for 13 years and I have a 9 year old daughter, but somehow I still don’t feel like a grown-up…

  234. alastor993 says:

    Great post and thanks for sharing! But…. wait until you hit 30…. The fact that you’re past halfway to half way sucks ass and you realise that you’re still not an adult and in fact are more childish and retarted than ever. It seems to me that for every year that gets added into my memory I forget one (as if my brains only have the capacity for an x amount of memories). And the childish thing, yea that goes like:
    other person: poo
    me: *giggle*
    I’m sure I was way more mature in my teens than I am now. Maybe it’s natures way to prepare me for dementia… It might also have to do with the fact I’m a teacher and most human contact I have thoughout the day is with young teens… Who in turn make me feel rediculously old.
    kid: how old are you, teacher?
    me: I’m 30
    kid: whoa! That’s sooooooooo old!
    yea thanks kid, you’re young and have no clue that the older you get the faster life runs by and you don’t even notice most days going by…

  235. amy-gaffigan says:

    This is fantastic. I’m not yet in my twenties, so I guess this what I have to look forward to? Well, okay, I guess. I’ll just take each day as it comes. But you’re definitely right about still being a teen. I don’t even feel like I’ve left my pre-teens yet, the way I behave and the way others (namely my mother) behave towards me.

    And I totally understand that “everyone seems to be getting married” bit, though maybe not at a daily rate. Last year, seven of my friends were married. This year, one of them just had a baby. I… I really REALLY have no idea how to handle it. It’s scary.

    But I guess that’s life, isn’t it? Being scared half out of your wits to keep you thankful for your life or make you wish to change it. For me, it’s a combination of both.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. It’s very insightful, especially for someone who’ll be entering that demographic in half a year.

    Amy

  236. Reblogged this on littlewonder2 and commented:
    This is really insightful. Yes, being in my twenties is a confusing time. This helps a little.

  237. lehmand says:

    I love this! I’m twenty and have barely thought of any of this that I have “to look forward to.”

  238. cupcakered says:

    This. This is exactly what I am going through even though I’m just 20 years old. But thank you for putting everything that I am going through into words. Great post.

  239. jennnigan says:

    So, you have a billion replies and may not even read this, but I felt like commenting anyway because holy crap I agree with pretty much all of it. I would like to point out, though, that number nine is pretty close to what being a grown-up is about. At least, I’d like to think so. Doesn’t it make you feel like an adult when you can say, “I feel like driving to Melbourne tomorrow, so I will.” Or “I want to go to Tasmania and abseil down a dam, and who wants to join me?” [which, incidentally, I did on Friday – we’re going in April].

    I’m 26 now, and my 20s so far have been my favourite decade. I mean, sure, I’ve really only had two others to compare it with so far, but the past six years have been awesome. I’ve thought that I’d like to have my 20s twice, actually – one to fall in love, establish a career, get married, buy a house, have kids. And another one to do exactly what I have done (and am still doing) – go to uni, fall in love, get my heart broken, have a stroke [okay, I probably wouldn’t want to do *that* again], work short-term contract jobs, go travelling, live overseas, volunteer in Africa, and start a PhD.

    I found something I wrote when I was 16 – “where do you think you’ll be in ten years?”. 16-year-old me thought I would have had the first 20s path I wrote about above. Instead, the actual 26-year-old-me is single, am nowhere near owning a house, and don’t have a career because I’ve just started a PhD to delay the real world that little bit longer. Still, my 20s are awesome.

    Sorry. That ended up longer than I intended. I’m going to procrastinate from uni reading now and read the rest of your blog.

    • Doctor Quack says:

      Truth be told, I am bewildered by just how many replies I’ve received, given that before yesterday the only people that ever actually read my blog were my mother and my roommate, and their comments (lack thereof) were generally easy to manage. That said, I really will do my best to read all of them and respond to ones that warrant it (like yours). It might take me days, or years, but eventually…

      Anyway, it seems that our teenage selves are more professionally goal-oriented than our adult selves become. It’s funny and cruel how that works out. You’re completely right about being able to do huge things like decide to travel somewhere. I remember – I think I was in fourth grade when I bought my first loaf of bread with my own money. It was my first taste of adult-like free will, and I’ll never forget it. From there, it’s only a small step (and a lot of money) to Tasmania.

      • jennnigan says:

        If your very grown-up 20-something year old self would like to join me and my friends in April, you’re welcome! We’re doing this: World’s highest commercial abseil.

        The phrase “youth is wasted on the young” is a phrase I heard when I was a teenager and didn’t really understand it. I suspect people older than me will say I still don’t understand, but I’m at least trying to not waste my youth 🙂 [P.S. My blog has a bit more detail about why my life perspective is the way it is – having a stroke at 23 will change you a little ;)]

    • minavilly says:

      Jenn, I almost had a stroke at 21. While there are times I’d like to repeat of the the last six years, (my years at Uni so I can take all those classs I wanted to by didn’t have the time) I wouldn’t want to repeat that either. Or the subsequent surgery. And good for you for startign your Phd. I’m a year into a Master’s program myself.

  240. I’m 18 going on 19 so technically, I’m still a teenager. But I’m terrified about being on the cusp of adulthood. The ideas that I’ll soon have real responsibilities and that some day very soon I’ll have to begin doing something constructive scare me to death. I desperately don’t want to be an adult.

    • Doctor Quack says:

      Don’t be too afraid. I’m well into my “adult” years and I have yet to be responsible or constructive. But please, don’t take my example. You don’t want to blogging about how disappointing your twenties are in six years.

      I jest, I jest. Really, it’s not entirely bad. If all the thirty year olds that have responded are any indication, it only gets better (or worse?).

  241. snake3487 says:

    I’m new in the blogging world and I am happy I came across your blog first. I really enjoy reading your it. Especially this entry, when you said: “I was thinking about milk just now.” I laughed pretty hard. You have a talent in writing friend. Keep up the good work!

  242. Anne Hershman says:

    Oh. My. God.

    This was by far one of the best things I’ve read, ever. And it made me feel sooooooo much better about myself. Especially the part about losing mental capacities after a certain age. I’m turning 25 this year, have been married for four years, and I have a two year old. I went back to school for one semester, and never again will I do that. I felt like the benevolent middle aged man you mentioned.

  243. dweebcentric says:

    i just turned 30 about 2 weeks ago and here’s what i learned:

    1. your 20’s are fun, but they’re also going to be confusing as shit. it’s supposed to be – you’re moving from the teenage years when you didn’t have to worry about a whole lot, to making something of yourself (as best you can). that’s a pretty significant transition.

    2. 20-somethings should stop trying to measure up using outdated definitions of adulthood. people might move back home after school (it’s not uncommon). they usually get married much later in life than their parents (and that’s probably better), and even baby-making gets delayed (probably even more better). and don’t even get me started on property ownership. this is the world we live in now.

    3. you feel less anxiety about the whole thing as you get closer to your 30s. even if you don’t have it all figured out yet, you are still a bit older, and a bit more wiser.

    so in conclusion, just do what you’re doing.

  244. The follow up should be 10 things my body warned me about in my twenties.

  245. mushaslater says:

    Thanks for the reminder. I’m 18 right now and I would be looking forwards to my 20’s. Your brilliant posts gave me warning and touched me about my years to come. Whilst reading your number 8, I almost came to tears as I had just lost my grandmother recently. Again, thanks for the heads up. I’ll be sure to be prepared for the good and bad times ahead.

  246. Pingback: for what they’re worth « Always do what you are afraid to do

  247. mushaslater says:

    Reblogged this on Fiction In Crazy Mode and commented:
    To teenagers like myself, this is a great post that reminds us that life is not just fun and play. Life needs to be conquered and you must work hard to conquer it. If not, life overwhelms you and you get lost in a sea of disarray.

  248. Really even i am feeling like young man but i am old…………we should feel like young only then only we can enjoy life………Really good post…..

  249. Eeshan says:

    What a wonderful post!!
    I’m 22 years old, and I relate to almost everything you’ve written here. Even most of my friends have started getting married too!! :p

    In short, my two years in the twenties have been all confusion…nothing more. 😀

  250. Pauline says:

    Great post! this is exactly true for me,I can’t say that I am lost because in order to be lost, you have to know where you are going. I don’t know where I am headed so I am confuse. I feel better reading this because I can relate. I still ask those questions of “what am I doing?” “what’s the meaning of all this?” and “why am i here” it’s depressing thinking about that. I am no where near where i thought i’d be, I thought I had it all figured out back in high school but I am more confure than I ever was if not, more. Things change and not everything goes according to plan. Again, great post, I highly enjoyed readig this 🙂

  251. Believe me, when you are in your 40s… your 20s feel like it was one decade long party. Enjoy it!

  252. lydiarocks says:

    Exactly same sentiments!!!!!

    Awesome awesome. I’m glad I chanced upon this. Hahahha Its like you’re almost echoing my thoughts. Thanks for it!

  253. LL says:

    Reblogged this on Ellelle's Blog and commented:
    I relate 100%

  254. catharinae says:

    I enjoyed this post very much. I am very glad to see that I’m not alone finding this “grey area” between teenager and adult to be frustrating. Thank you!

  255. ecocred says:

    great post! loved it! it should be required reading for all teens!

  256. superb article like it……really enjoying after reading it……

  257. Salma says:

    OMG! This is sooo true!! I feel all these things you mentioned! You feel that the 20s is a time when you’ve grown up and yet you still are confused about life and stuff!!

    Kitchen Mixer Reviews

  258. Ryan says:

    I like the second one, I struggle with adulthood as well!

  259. livvisthenewblack says:

    This was an awesome piece!
    I find myself not talking to my friends about these little gaps I have in my early twenties, but I’m glad I’m not the only one who forgets everything from high school. That said, I just finished a degree in Japanese and I can say about 5 things at this point, so I’m not very confident that University has helped my memory, either.

  260. Hey, nice blog, I’m about to turn 20 so any insight is good!

  261. What an article. It really cheered up my morning. The thing about not caring anymore about things you used to care about is exactly right. I find myself bored when friends go on about who they’ve fallen out with this week and who said what about who in Facebook.

    I’m 20 and I live with my fiancé in a lovely rented flat, 180 miles away from our parents. When we first moved in together, I remember ringing mum and being like, ‘Is this ok?’ about everything. You know – ‘which supermarket should I shop at?,’ and ‘don’t worry, we’re not going to be having house parties ‘ and ‘do you think it’s ok for us to start up golf? Or will it be too expensive?’

    And then one day, a sunny day, drinking a glass of wine on our terrace, I thought…wait a minute. It’s up to us what we do! I’ll make up my own mind.

    And it’s great. We did take up golf. We’ve also taken up fishing and going to the gym. Without asking for anyone’s permission or blessing.

    One day we found out that my fiancé’s mum had been opening all of our joint bank account statements; for some reason she thought it was her right to check up on how we were managing our money. That’s the thing – it came as quite a nice (and at first shocking) feeling that she was totally out of order. OUR realisation that it was none of her business actually made us forget our anger at her, and just feel a tremendous sense of independence. Instead of having an argument, we just changed our address with the bank. And she hasn’t said anything since the statements stopped arriving on her doorstep. Reason – it forced HER to realise that it wasn’t her business anymore too.

    Sometimes you have to re-assert your independece to those people who still see you as the ‘child’. But I think more than anything you have to re-assert this to yourself. Most people start their own path, their independence in their twenties, and I think that sometimes it’s takes a while to come to terms with the fact that you really are your own boss. You can do what you like; so long as you accept the consequences. But once you have fully realised this – well, it’s one of the best feelings in the world.

    and to Alexei – 14 was genius.

  262. Well has anyone noticed how much anxiety is on the rise? Hell, even i have it but i can blame over working myself for that reason. Besides that i think influence plays a huge role in our lives and with out it it’s complicated to go through something self discovery. I mean here i was in my early twenties with all the athletic ability in the world and nothing to do with it. Had i known what i known now i would have made something out of it but i wasn’t so lucky and end up letting go of sports from how depressed it made me. You can say i was cheated out of any chance i had at making something out of myself – athletically speaking. Now i make sure to pass that message on to any young spirit feeling as left out as i was and to tell you the truth i haven’t seen not one of them since. A game changer if you will and maybe that’s why i was left out of the loop hole – to pass on the message to the ones in there twenties.

    http://www.alltheeabove.wordpress.com

  263. szuwarkowe says:

    I am a native Polish speaker, so I can help with it. But I think the best for you would be to sign in in busuu.com (where I also learn Russian, Spanish and Greek), there are a lot of Polish people ready to help (and you can help them with English too). My name in busuu is shuvarek.

    I personally would not call my teacher “Profesor”, I think it is old fashion, and the profesor is a real title, which I do not think this teacher has. When I was young (in primary school) I always used “Proszę pani/ pana”, sometimes I can just speak directly like in Engish (po polsku to się nazywa ‘per ty’) and less formal if the person agree with it.
    I dla mnie są to pan / pani nauczyciel a nie profesorowie.

    About dificult words: there is a harbor in Poland called Świnoujśćie, and people from Sweden, Finland, etc. have a problem to give the name of their destination. But there are also many funny words with ś, ć, sz, cz. If you are interesting I can write you some.

    greetings
    Christopher

  264. Great Writing …Every point is valid ..At least you could warn the upcoming generation with the new twenties dilemma . Hope to read ur nxt soon !

  265. Ha ha. You’ve got your 30s to look forward to next. Am I confused – you seem to be a girl in #1 and a guy in #10?!

  266. robynlia says:

    aaaahahaha…. ok, i literally laughed out loud to the “thinking about milk” thing. i can totally relate to this, I tune things out all the time and think about the dumbest things at the most critical of times. and don’t even get me started on #8. Or #4. Or #8+9. or just 9 itself.

    Us 20-somethings need to stick together. Thanks for posting this.

  267. Chris says:

    Ah man… so true, all of it. I was laughing and nodding the entire time.

    Here’s the thing. I’m 32, I have a house, a job, a husband, 3 kids, bills, responsibilities and I STILL don’t feel like an adult! I keep waiting for it to happen, it has to happen right?! You would think that all those things propel you into the adulthood club. But it’s an illusive feeling. I’ve almost come to accept that I’ll probably never get there. Once in a while, I get this feeling that creeps up and I’ll think to myself (and sometimes even say it aloud), “woah, I feel like an adult right now”. But then the feeling passes as quickly as it came. Do you know how long it took for me to use the term “woman” to describe myself? Or my friends for that matter? Somehow, “girl” just fits better. Even now, every time I say it there’s a slight moment of hesitation and I only say it because that is what is expected. Heck, I don’t even know what I want to be when I grow up! People laugh when I say it, assuming I’m joking, but it’s true!!
    I’ll stop here, ’cause I could go on forever. But I’m just here to tell you that your 30s might not (most likely will not) bring what you think they’ll bring. But hey, it might not be a bad thing. Maybe reaching the feeling of being an adult is like reaching a plateau. I’ll let you know if ever I get there.

  268. Pingback: One last spoon of cough syrup now woah oh~ « Eleven in the Morning

  269. I’m 24 and I looove your post – I totally relate to it. I especially love your points “I have forgotten everything I ever learned in high school” (glad to know I’m not alone!) and “You stop giving a shit about things you used to give a shit about” (definitely the best plus about being in your 20s!).
    Congratulations on getting Freshly Pressed!

  270. John Hauge says:

    i’m well into my 60’s. i remember my 20’s. a year in vietnam then drugs and alcohol. ah, what fun they were.

  271. Pingback: The Sunday ‘Report;’ 02/19/2012 « Justincase505's Blog

  272. Reblogged this on Broken NotePadz and commented:
    It’s a must read for everyone just about to turn twenty, like I am in a few months.

  273. ~Sarah says:

    i just had a similar introspective moment that wove itself into a blog. I enjoyed your bullet-point version, and your unapologetic wit kept me reading through the end. (which is rare, sadly) I might show it to my 14 year old, lest she develop false expectations of what is to come. Or think that she can live at home for an extra decade…

  274. Sarah D. says:

    I studied Russian when I was in my mid-40s and discovered what it’s like to be the slowest student in the room. Where did my brain go??? On the other hand, age brings a lot of advantages. I simply know more than I used to and don’t get bent out of shape about the small stuff. And I can empathize with your 20-something feelings and be glad I’m not there any more!

    Congratulations on being FP and keep up the good introspection, thinking, and writing. You’re forging your path and it will take you somewhere.

  275. minavilly says:

    LOL! I’ll be 26 in a couple of weeks and I have to say that sometimes I feel like this, not always, but sometimes. I live it at home still, but not by choice, because of financial nescesity. I’ve definately forgotten everything from high school, and even some stuff from college. And I sure as hell can’t remember my classmates names from way back when either (although I do remember the name of the skateboarder, who is now in law school). I have a lot of friends getting married, and even have kids. It’s a scary thought when you find out a friend you met freshman year of high shcool is getting married and just had a baby. Are my friends and I that old already? But for the most part I feel like an adult. Have for years. I have a job, two degrees, and am I a graduate student, but I think it’s my experiences in the last 26 years that make me feel like an adult more. You are an adult, it’s just that things are changing in this new century of ours and a lot more goes into being and feeling like an adult than when our parents and grandparents were out age. But it doesn’t mean you have to feel or act like one. I think adulthood is what you make it. Give it a few more years.

  276. Mel says:

    Very funny and astute. It’s been a few decades since my twenties but trust me, not much has changed. Thanks for making me laugh.

  277. When I read something and go, “ah, so true!” or “yep, story of my life”, the entire way through, I know it’s a good read. Kudos on being Freshly Pressed! 🙂 20-somethings unite!–we can do this gang….somehow…. 😉

  278. cupofgo says:

    Reblogged this on cupofgo and commented:
    A wonderful list of observations for the twenties.

  279. B M says:

    Christ. I’m stuck on 8+9 like a broken record. What am I doooooinnng? What does it all meeeeaaaan? Over and over and over again. My younger friends look at me as though I’ve completely lost it. Well? I have. (side note: One friend actually went to far as to bring me a 2011 Career Guide. Ha. What a doll.)

  280. angelique523 says:

    I love this and I can totally relate. I have a few years on you, my twenties just ended and turning 30 was devastating but I am still living my life like you do now. Not quite on the rest of the worlds schedule. I too noticed about your age I couldn’t stay up as long and that part just gets worse. I agree with getting more dumb and retarded. Because of family issues I am just now finishing my AA degree which sucks. I still have no career, no children and am not married. I doubt I will but all of my peers started this almost right out of high school so I feel way behind. I am stuck in this kind of holding pattern, like I am too old for somethings but still to young for things like kids and marriage. I think I have it backwards a little though. So now I live life like and alcoholic, I take one day at a time and am learning to forgive myself for my mistakes. Everyday is a new day.

  281. You hit so many things dead on. I was one of the few in my group of college friends to not do post-grad. I’m an under-achiever that like to hang out with over achievers. But there’s an odd gap between us b/c they’re still in school and I’ve been out for a few years. The things they worry about, I find trivial. The can’t relate to the things I worry about. And no, I can’t remember any of the names of the guys anyone hooked up with! Thanks for sharing. Your post made me feel much better about being in post-college, pre-adult limbo.

  282. Sofia says:

    I liked your post a lot! There’s a lot of things in it that I’ve thought about as well. Specially the part about the parents in the beginning. I don’t live with mine anymore but when ever I visit them and stay for a couple of days, it’s like being 14 all over again :P!

  283. I felt like I didn’t fit in when I was in my early twenties because my life was not how you described. I had just been hired as a teacher (at age 22), and while all my other friends were either still in college, or in the limbo-land you described, I was working full time and getting my master’s at night. I suppose in some ways it may have been more satisfying, but I felt like I had to become an adult way too soon and I missed out on a lot of life. Try to enjoy it while you can before you hit that 9-5pm routine (it’s not as glamorous or as intriguing as it may seem…though I suppose at times it does give some satisfaction). In other areas of my life, however, I could relate with the 20s angst. That didn’t really go away for me till I was about 25 and now that I’m 27 I feel so totally “adult” it’s kinda scary.

  284. When you turn 30 you get an extra gift, too. It’s called 10 pounds and no, you can’t return it without some seriously hard work. It’s like that meal you once creatively made thinking it would be superb, but instead the stench clung to your apartment for days and no matter what how much Listerine you used, you could still taste…a week later.

    We age and time seems to speed up, but know this – we’re all asking ourselves the same questions we did in our 20’s and it’s up to us to keep continually learn, grow, and change. I think you already know this, which puts you ahead of the class. Keep it up, girl, you’re doing great.

  285. I wake up every morning and ask myself, “Who decided I was grown up enough to be ‘an adult’??? I’m a mom. Oh my God, I’m a mom. When did this all happen??” It’s pretty scary. I go along with it and play the part, but I still call my mom every time I need to make grown up decisions. I’m 25 and still don’t totally trust myself!

  286. fireygoddess says:

    Reblogged this on Make Something Every Day and commented:
    Citrus drink on a grey day. Great blog post!

  287. knews2me says:

    Love this. I have been there and done that.

    Not sure if anyone has burst your bubble yet about being over 30 and living with their parents…I’m 45 and living at home. Now, I lived on my own from age 18 to age 42. I’ve owned two houses, more cars than I can remember, etc…but the economy can cripple anyone and you find yourself doing things you never imaged you would!

    The good news (or maybe its bad news) is that by 45, you’ll be thankful to still have your parents and you will enjoy many more of the things they like to do!

    Thanks for sharing your talents!

  288. Pingback: The Circle of… Life? | CynicalDriver

    • Doctor Quack says:

      Thank you for the responses. It’s good to hear the advice and difference of opinion from somebody who, while in the same general mode of life, has different experiences and contrasting viewpoints, as well as five extra years of life to look back on.

  289. acupofherbal says:

    This is such a funny and true post! After a really crappy day, my mood is now up. Thank you!

    And may I add that I’m now 31, live with my boyfriend’s mum and work in a bar. I’m pretty certain that my mental age has decreased in the last couple of years rather than increased! The height of my maturity or adulthood was in my late teens… I think sometimes your age is determined by your context. I can’t wait to get out!

  290. angelina says:

    Loved this post, as a 23 year old I can really relate… amusing too 😀

  291. CJ says:

    My favorite is #7 Not only am I dumber than I used to be, I’m also more retarded. This definitely continues into your 30’s. 😉

  292. welshwisdom says:

    Agree with what you say! I find that I now say ‘When I’m 30 I’ll be doing…’ instead of the good old school days of ‘when I’m 20’ haha! I’m also pretty sure that my mentality has gone backwards, I think that I act more like a 15year old now I’m 21 than what I did then!

  293. Letícia says:

    Amazing text, couldn’t have come at a better time.

    I just turned 27 a couple of months ago and it suddenly became clear to me what I’ve been suspecting for a while: I have no idea who I am, what I want or what I’m doing with my life. Yes, I forgot everything I learned in high-school (and college, actually) and I feel dumb, but also I just feel like I was never REALLY “there”, you know? Like life was just happening to me and I was going along with it and not making any decisions – because not only I didn’t have to, most of the time I was also not allowed to. So I spent my entire life craving for that freedom, for “the day my life would start”, and now I feel like it’s here and I have no idea what to do with it. I don’t have a plan, I don’t know how to go after my own goals because I did NOT spend the last 27 years developing them. I feel like I was born yesterday and life is supposed to start now, and everything before this was completely useless. I feel like I have no baggage at all to deal with everything that’s coming, like I’m supposed to learn how to live, who I am, what I like, what I want and how to get it starting now, but at the same time I have all of these responsibilities that keep me from really being free (yes, by responsibilities I mean money) to pursue these things.

    I just really hope it’s a part of being in your twenties and that eventually everything falls into place!

  294. Kimberley says:

    Regarding sleep schedules and traffic patterns, I’m happy to tell you that you can probably go another 15 years (at least) without understanding why those people are awake. I’m nearing 40 and I’m not sure I understand it yet either. I enjoyed your post!

  295. Rick Bailey says:

    Dr. Quack,

    Congratulations on being freshly pressed. You earned it with this very well-written, and very honest post. I haven’t read any of the other responses. However, I can offer you the smallest perspective in response, from a long way off (I’m 55 now). 1. TV and the media don’t matter, even though they tremendously influence our culture: it’s okay to ignore the popular media. 2. You now have the opportunity to get to know your parents in “adult” friendship like never before. By the time I was 35, both my parents were gone. Fortunately, I established a wonderful friendship with my mother as an adult, and I miss that friendship very much to this very day. “Now” is gold. Don’t let another day pass without making or improving those friendships. 3. You already know what being an adult is like from your college years: you gotta do what you gotta do (turning in papers, studying for exams, etc). Only the scope and sphere of what you gotta do has changed. 4. When you’re in your 20s, you’re on a first-name-basis with everybody (except maybe Mom and Dad, and perhaps your boss). “We’re all adults here” takes on more meaning. 5. Getting married is all about “commitment.” Having babies is all about “responsibility.” Commitment and responsibility directly relate to those very important people in your life. 7. Staying up all night is over-rated. If I’m tempted to do this, I need to plan better. 8. The data you don’t use gets put in long-term storage, or deleted altogether. You probably won’t need it anyway. 9. Live in “today.” Tomorrow isn’t here yet, and you will miss out on what’s good today if you’re living for tomorrow. Yesterday is gone and unchangeable. Let it go. Far too often I’ve lived into tomorrow, only to regret what happened yesterday. Learn from yesterday, then do it right today. Tomorrow will come regardless. 10. “What am I doing here” and “does it all have meaning” really do have answers.

    Congrats again. I’m looking forward to reading more of your work!

  296. kharlamovaa says:

    Oh man. I’m 21 right now, and I’m going into my last year at uni. A lot of these things are ALREADY true for me. For example, my care for grades is waning on completely nonexistant because I’m doing work outside of school that I find a lot more fulfilling.

  297. KTroilo says:

    this is great stuff man. 2nd time I’ve read it today. Completely true on all levels.

  298. LoHo says:

    Reblogged this on That Blog – Lori H and commented:
    Thanks for the insight 🙂

  299. juliamarieg says:

    I agree with all of these points! Glad I finally found out it’s not just me! There is way too much pressure put on people in there 20s for things to go perfectly and sync up as planned. Best to plan for the unplanned.

  300. Kerry Dwyer says:

    I am so glad that you were freshly pressed and so came to my notice. A very entertaining post.. I am still waiting to understand what it feels like to be an adult. I don’t feel very much different to I did when I was at university. I still don’t know what all the answers are. My daughter seems to understand life so much better than I do. -I am over 50.

    Kerry

  301. deyank says:

    A very heartfelt (for me) post. When I was 19 (1961) I opted to join the Navy. I was still in it when I turned 39. Despite having my life pretty much mapped out and super-detailed right at first, I still was left with some doubts but they mostly cleared up after my five tours in Vietnam. I made good career choices that trained me for life after the service.

    Now that I am almost 70, it is easy to look back in review and see where I went wrong (too much boozing) – and where I went right (nearly 50 years of marriage) – but no matter what you have to play the hand dealt you.

    Keep on posting; I’ll be reading.

  302. So well articulated and nice sense of humour

  303. huns says:

    Vesk mane, profesoriau Ančiuk!
    Marry me
    😉

  304. petrakidd says:

    I wouldn’t want to go through my twenties again. Really thought provoking post with excellent points. If I could go back and visit myself in my twenties and give myself a good talking to, the main things would be: do it your way, stop letting others control you, follow your own path, get confident and you look great, stop stressing. Ah, if only..

  305. straightpath12 says:

    I love this. I am 21 and just by looking at this post, I have changed my perspective has changed 360. I know my 20s will be quite the journey and I’m excited. My favorite WordPress post ever.

  306. jlstewart4 says:

    This is spectacular. I’m a 22 year old, about to graduate college, but I completely understand what you mean by not being able to pull all-nighters and thinking about insignificant things (like milk) and not in an active manner, just thinking about the product. Thank you for writing this, it makes the 8 more years of my twenties much more bearable.

  307. Anna says:

    I loved and laughed out loud at #7 because I couldn’t agree with you more and I could relate. 😀 Great post! I will definitely start to prowl around your blog now. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  308. I’m 23 and I could not agree more with you. It’s so terrible to feel that you’re losing your energy. I’m brasilian so I didn’t understand much of what you said about the TV series, but I feel just the same as you about being awake all night and about learning skills. It was so easy to work all day, study at night and going to parties after college. Now I must choose to do one or another. Well, my friends are getting married as well, some have children. We get a lot of responsabilities at the twenties, I wonder how hard it must be for my friends to have the marriage and children plus responsabilities problems to solve.
    But when I think about it, it’s probable that it will only get worse, so it’s better do whatever we got to do now, before our friends begin to die.

  309. Cactus says:

    A great read! I think I’ll cut and paste it all into my blog, change the 20s references to 40s and convert it from American to English; then everyone will think I’ve suddenly developed a deep, profound and focused insight into existence that’s hitherto been hidden from the universe. I’m still blundering around aimlessly with my life and I’m nearly 50. Getting old sucks; life gets no clearer, just shorter. I wouldn’t bother with it if I was you, (getting old I mean, not life); stay where you are. Me, I’m just living in denial, (it’s easier that way)!

  310. Jessica Paul says:

    I’ll be thirty-three this year and I can honestly say that last few years have been wonderful. Turning 25 was harder for me than turning 30. I moved out of my parents and 1.5 hrs away when I was 20, and then moved in with my boyfriend the same year. It takes years to learn how to start becoming an ‘adult’. My friends and I like to joke that you don’t know what you are doing until about 26. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to forgot about being young at heart; it’s just that being responsibile for yourself is harder for some than others.
    Your post did bring a smile to my face and the remembrances of floundering through my own twenties. And, yeah, once you leave high school/college, you can’t remember any of that stuff. 🙂

  311. Kitten says:

    I’m only 17 going on 18 (two more months), but I like this post. Any time I talk to someone in their twenties, whether it’s early twenties or late twenties, they sound so relaxed like everything’s perfect and life couldn’t be better. A friend of mine recently introduced me to her older sister who is 25 and married with two children. She met her husband during her first year of college when she was just 19 (she went to college right after high school). You can imagine how I felt, being nearly 18 and never even had a date yet.

    That said, becoming an adult genuinely does scare me. I’m so used to having everything decided for me by my parents. I don’t how I’ll manage myself. The thought of being entirely on my own someday petrifies me. I’m still not sure what I want to do after high school (I graduate in 2013).

  312. bridgethn says:

    Great post! You definitely captured the essence of what it is like to be a twenty-something, and I love your humorous take on it.

    When I hit twenty-five, I remember thinking, “Thank god I’m not in my early twenties anymore.” After twenty-five, each year was better than the one before. I’m now twenty-eight. I have more courage and confidence to go after the things I want (I quit my job of six years to live in New Zealand for a year, something I’ve always wanted to do), and I feel way less angsty than I did in my early twenties. At the same time, I think I am also more retarded (I don’t mean that in the offensive sense either), I can feel my body breaking down, and, like you, I don’t want to make a commitment because I also “enjoy the intrigue of future ambiguity” (love that line). In the meantime, all of my girlfriends are married with kids or in serious relationships.

    The ironic twist of being in my late twenties is that because I have grown so much since college, I can now fool myself into thinking I have a handle on things — until life sweeps the rug from under me (or rather I sweep it from under myself). Whenever I look back at the tremendously stupid mistakes I made in my early twenties and sigh in relief because I must have gained some wisdom from those experiences, my guard drops and I make the same dumb mistakes over again. And then I call my mom for advice, even though by now I am old enough to know that Mom doesn’t always have all the answers. But I am not sure that will ever change. Life keeps giving us little reminders that we will never have it all figured out. I think the only thing that changes is the realization that we are never going to reach some definite state of adulthood — like you wrote in #10 — but even that realization itself makes things a little easier. Maybe the best we can do is recognize that and be ok with it. Maybe that’s what being an adult is.

  313. seejennyrun105 says:

    Love this post… makes me wonder if I’m ever going to feel like an adult…. and I feel like my 20s are going fast!!

  314. You have such a great voice–and you’re just in your twenties! Lucky you. Lots of time to develop your obvious gifts. I had to laugh because I see my twenty-something sons in your writing, but (even worse) I even see myself in some of it. Scary, I know. I keep looking around and wondering when the grown ups are going to tell me what to do next! I forget that I’m the grown-up now. Supposedly.

  315. Steff says:

    Reblogged this on Tragedy of the Mundane and commented:
    This is my first time ever re-blogging. I found this on “Freshly Pressed,” WordPress’s front page of awesome posts, and found it sufficiently awesome to post here as this about sums up my experience of my twenties so far. I do hope it gets better though!
    “This is where the seed of greatness begins,” indeed.

  316. emmemagazine says:

    I completely agree with you 100%. This is EXACTLY how I feel! I am 23, and I have always said that there should be a TV show about post- college kids trying to get their lives together. With this economy, becoming an “adult” is more difficult than ever before, which puts more pressure on us. I am glad that I am not the only one who feels this way.

    Maryann
    emmemagazine.wordpress.com

  317. emsly625 says:

    Wow I love this! I agree with the whole changing part completely. I’ll be 20 in a few months and I know there will be some bumps in the road. I think you nailed it on the head, this actually helps me a lot and I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks about this too.

  318. Will says:

    Dear Doctor Quack:

    Just give up. Global Climate Change is going to fry or drown 6 billion humans within the next 60 years. You have no chance of getting a good life. It’s your parents’ generation’s fault, so blame them. Luckily for me, this doesn’t matter to persons already aged 50 or more, though.

    Don’t believe me? Read this: http://www.jameslovelock.org/key1.html “Enjoy Life While You Can,” by Prof. James Lovelock.

  319. Great blog! I love the humor of it too, LOL. Having just turned 27 earlier this month, I can relate to a lot of what you’ve said here.

  320. papayatree says:

    10 Things Nobody Warned Me About My Thirties
    1. I get sleepy after one beer
    2. I’ve traveled everywhere I wanted to go in my twenties. Amazing memories and the bonus is that I’m happier raising kids having had those experiences
    3. Finally figured out all those existential questions. Now the universe is saying, “What are you going to do about it?”
    4. No desire to go back to the twenties
    5. Looking ahead: mortality and taking care of parents. OK I changed my mind about going back to the twenties!

  321. Yiskah ink. says:

    In the words of that country song (that I shouldn’t admit to liking) ‘I’m waiting for my real life to begin’

    That’s what being in my 20s reminds me of. It’s a no man’s land and the longer I travel through it the less recognisably repetitive that landmarks become and the further apart they get. At the same time though, and this is the scary part, I feel I’m traveling faster between them. No matter how hard I try the days fly by faster every time I awake.

  322. reinaldobanh says:

    Reblogged this on reinaldobanh and commented:
    Then, how about 10, 20, 40, 50 and more? :))

  323. Hahaha I love this! I’m turning the big 2-5 in a mere matter of months and I am acting like its the end of the world! I’m convinced that by the time I turn 25 I will magically have to turn into an “adult” and never have fun again until my future children are all grown up and out of the house. Yikes. I feel totally unprepared for this because I am a kid and I never want to grow up…and I’m pretty much ok with it! Glad to know someone else is the same.

    • Tara Shennan says:

      I think they have a fancy grown up name for it now..the quarter-life crisis. A name that describes twenty-somethings realising the grown ups lied and feeling the pressure to succeed at something, anything, everything!
      I turn the big 2-5 in May and feel the same. I could probably cope with my friends getting committed to babies or partners but when my younger siblings start getting ahead of me in that, I really start to feel like I haven’t achieved much yet. A lifetime of being the first one to do everything and all of a sudden the game changes.

  324. lettersfromasomedayeditor says:

    A really great post– everything here is so true. it’s nice to find someone else who understands; thanks for the comfort in having it all spelled out.

  325. ainsociety says:

    Your post makes me reflect a lot on my life too! Thank You!

  326. hilaryisaac says:

    Brilliantly self-deprecating every step of the way! Delightful read. I couldn’t help but laugh with each point because I could absolutely relate–except for the part about doing groceries with insomniacs and drunkards. I’m more of the early bird, getting up at 4am everyday (because I used to host a morning radio show at 6am). Nasty habit sometimes because I’m exhausted before everyone else is actually awake. Phooey.

    • Doctor Quack says:

      I honestly wish I had the discipline to get up before dawn. There’s no better feeling than having accomplished one or two things before noon.

      Fortunately, I do have the discipline to go to sleep before dawn, so that’s good, I suppose.

      • Tara Shennan says:

        That is pretty much where my goals are..consistently achieving sleep before dawn.

        I do love grocery shopping late at night though. It is wonderfully quiet. No competing with buggies or shoppers who take forever to decide what cereal to buy – this must be a grown up thing because I just head straight for the coco pops; in, out, done!

  327. Amy T. says:

    The part about relationships…there you have it. Now that I am 30 (I still shudder at the realization I have exited the 25-29 checkbox…) everyone is having babies. At least with marriage there is a chance of normalcy in friendship. Yes, people get swept up in wedding plans, but once the post-honeymoon dust settles – they still want to see their friends.

    Enter babies. Babies change people. FOREVER. And I’m not just talking stretchmarks. There is a decided line drawn between “+child” couples…and “the childless.” For those of us who have yet to settle and procreate, they look at us with a certain sense of pity – for we have yet to learn the joy of little fingers and toes – and whatever biological rush of hormones enables parents to find baby vomit charming and poopy diapers facebook photo-worthy.

    On the other hand, we look at them with with a certain sense of awe and pity, realizing they have brought another human into the world (amazing!) – and it can’t be dropped off at a kennel for the night if they feel like going out for a wine bender after a particularly bad day at the office (horrible!).

    As much as friends swear they’re not going to change after a baby – it is inevitable. As darling as their munchkins are, I cannot relate to the eternal struggle with carseats, strollers and onesies – anymore than they can understand how sleeping in on sundays followed by mimosa brunch is the high point of my week.

    30s may be the new 20s…but babies are the new game changer.

    • Siobhan says:

      I wholeheartedly agree about the babies thing.

      I’m now 31, 30 was a bit of a confusing mess, much like my early 20s. People my age having babies has made me do some thinking… I was right all along, my entire life, when I knew I didn’t want any. With that out of the way I feel like my life is just beginning, all over again! Babies really are optional. In fact, so are a lot of other norms… Property ownership? Did that at 22, when my friends were renting and doing whatever they pleased, I was sinking money I’d never see again into a mortgage. I’m waiting out the recession and selling up! A career? I’m onto my second one of those already, I hate being someone’s employee, I’m now concentrating on getting good enough at something to do it on a self-employed basis.

      I hated the first bit of my 20s, but from 24 onwards the awesomeness kicked in as I got used to it. Everything on this list, I recognise, and it still holds true now!

      Basically, most of what you think is SUPER EXTREMELY LIFE OR DEATH IMPORTANT, isn’t. That’s a good thing! Most of what you thought you wanted is overrated anyway. Let life take you where it takes you, ideas are good, but serious goal-setting is restrictive. Did I mention that babies are optional? I think I might just get to live my 20s all over again, only a little wiser, and giving less of a shit 😉

      Oh and, you’re never too old or young to go off on a flaming big tangent.

  328. millodello says:

    I walked into a smoke filled room at age twenty-one and walked out at twenty-six. Life has never been as clear since. Don’t mistake your self doubt for what it really is. Enjoy it instead.

  329. Amrita Yasin says:

    I am saving this one…..you just spoke my mind!

  330. juju says:

    I just turned 26 and officially entered my late 20’s. Be excited, over the next couple of years for you life will start getting to the really good stuff :).

  331. As a fellow 24-year-old, I completely identified with everything on this list. And, I agree with the previous commenter: it’s comforting to hear that someone else feels the way I’m feeling right now as a “new adult.”

  332. lindalind says:

    Great post! I’m 21 and I’m already starting to experience what you’re writing haha 🙂

    /Linda
    http://www.lindalind.com/blog

  333. Mandy Baca says:

    I feel as lost as you…

  334. reggie says:

    i’m teetering into my mid-twenties, and recently had a revelation that although I feel everything i’m surrounded with (a 9-5 corporate america job, bills, 401k, a bunny) would define me as an adult, i still don’t feel like or define myself as one. i’m scared of that moment when i settle for the fact that i am an adult.

  335. suntysingh says:

    Real Good, when I hit 25 I too realised a few of these points. But time goes on .. it goes on and on.

  336. At 25, I sometimes want to run around screaming, ‘THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU PROMISED ME’. Then I remember I’m supposed to be an ‘adult’ now & that’s not how well-adjusted ‘adults’ behave. So I drink my chocolate milk and make decisions by playing rock, paper, scissors (lizard, spock).

    Excellent post.

  337. rweinstein6 says:

    Great stuff. Loved the abstract milk thoughts.

  338. lisadgomez says:

    I love this! At 22, I feel so terrible to have let my ambitious 12 year old self down. (She had such high hopes for us.) There are all sorts of unexpected challenges and I don’t spend nearly as much time going out partying like I expected!

  339. CR says:

    I like this post. It’s good to read about people going through the same stuff who have some sort of way to compartmentalize/organize it all

  340. turnatable says:

    Reblogged this on turnatable and commented:
    Great Post, take a look! Also read some very insightful comments. Like.

  341. Kat says:

    Mkay. So I read all your blogs. All of them. Because uh….they were good, and I’m not a stalker, okay? And I’m a few years into my twenties myself. I’m also a boomeranger. I boomeranged right back into my parents’ house after college, and I’m going to stay here too–at least until I can pay off all my student loan debt.

    The marriage thing in particular just sucks. I don’t have the best of luck with romantic relationships–my life is devoid of them for some strange reason–and to watch the pool of eligible bachelors shrink steadily crushing on an emotional level. It’s bad enough to be forcibly sexually repressed, it’s worse to be so and watch your hopes and dreams for the future wither before your eyes. Though that worry does pale in comparison to watching friends die. Perspective. It’s probably a good thing.

    Congrats for getting pressed. You’ve got a ton of new readers on your hands, and some of us (myself included) are probably going to stick around.

  342. Steve says:

    Interesting reading. I’d just like to throw in a cent or two if you’ll allow me. I disagree with there being no adulthood – it is not a lie outright. The lie is that at a certain age you become an adult. Your body will become adult if you live long enough, that much is certain, but the mind – and let’s be frank here, I’m talking about maturity – that is not a guarantee at any age, and it’s maturity which is the true measure of adulthood. I’m not going to throw out any percentages, who knows what the numbers actually are, but many persons walking around living adult lives are still children whose bodies have matured. But this is not to say there are no mature persons – no true adults. Adults are out there, quietly attending to their business and the welfare of themselves and their families (which extends to all of society if you think broadly about it). It is the wisdom gained through experience which, when properly ingested, leads to maturity and adulthood.

    I couldn’t agree more that “society” as a whole is under-preparing children for “adulthood”. The true lie being fed to children (or one of the big ones anyway) – the necessity of the higher education system – is only partly to blame. But I suggest looking at the big picture this way: it’s the ultimate challenge to succeed by your own wits in an apathetic, even hostile, society to become a happy, satisfied, relatively self-sufficient human being (no man is an island – we need each other, but mutual cooperation is more harmonious than living a parasitic life isn’t it?). The decisions we make along the way make us who we are. Making the decision to do something productive with our lives is a necessary step on the road to being satisfied with ourselves in the long run.

    I’d like to hear your music. I imagine it’s as creative as your writing!

  343. foolswords says:

    You sir have just sumed up millions of twenties life up in a single post (including me, hehe).
    Now that’s cool. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  344. sangjiwa says:

    you remind me to re write my four corner document in my original language. anyhow.. hope i can do it smoothly so that we can be u.s together.. till end of time. thank you a lot

  345. Chaks says:

    interesting and great writeup with lot of humor. i could not stop laugh at the point 8 . – TechSmartLife

  346. Serene says:

    I am only 20, and yet I feel all of the things you mentioned in your list. I have always felt like an outsider to my peers. Yes, I had friends. But my perspective of life was so different. They were into getting all new things (cars, clothes, technology…) and partying. I just wanted to hang out with friends and figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. When I started college, I stopped hanging out with people and I stopped caring about what others thought about me dining on my own. I was already so over the college experience and how superficial it was. I look back sometimes and wonder why I didn’t try harder to make friends, but I realized that I was still trying to find myself and figure out why I didn’t feel like I belonged. And then I realized it’s not because of them that I feel so out of place. It’s because of the way I was raised. I had to grow up fast and be mature, and yet I still did not know much about being an adult. I was stuck between being a college student and being an adult, and so I did not know where I belonged. I still don’t! But I don’t care as much. I just focus on myself and take it a day at a time.

    Anyway, I’m happy that WordPress put your blog post on the front page. This was a rather interesting read. You deserve all of your readers. =D Good luck to you in everything that you do. Thank you for the wonderful post.

  347. OperationJA says:

    Yeah, whilst I’m sure that there are many more things that I would also give a heads up to my 20 year old self, you’ve written something that all pre-20’s should read and all 30+’s can reflect on. Brilliantly written, the read was enjoyable. Congrats~

  348. Tara Shennan says:

    A few things I am learning about being a twenty-something female:
    1. Unless you have a grown-up job, are married/engage and/or are with child, you will not only feel like an overgrown teenager; people will treat you like one too! I keep expecting people to tell me to just “grow up”.
    2. People will feel the need to constantly check up on the seriousness status of any romantic relationship you have. Constantly. You will miss being an actual teenager because at least then you could drink a glass of water on a meal out without people asking if you’re pregnant, or, gather your family together without them hearing the ringing of pending wedding bells.
    3. None of #2 will be in any relation to length of time with a partner and will only get worse.
    4. Telling your family you don’t want children will result in two reactions. The first being horror, the second being a look of smugness.. “when you meet the right guy”.
    5. Grown-ups lie. They lied when they told you the only way to be successful was to go to university. They also fail to tell you how going to university and only focussing on your studies leaves you behind jobseekers of your own age who chose to work. Unless you want to be someone who absolutely needs a degree (lawyer, doctor etc), you will find that the odds are not particularly in your favour.
    6. The odds swing back in your favour further up the corporate ladder. Some job promotions come with a degree clause.
    7. Being unemployed doesn’t mean you can’t work. Cherish the fact that for the time being you can work on that book you’ve always wanted to write, volunteer with a charity and gain some new skills. The latter is highly recommended for showing employers you can make the best of your time and didn’t just spend your unemployed time slobbing out watching spongebob (even though you can probably do both). The former, if you get it published, will prove the same.

    —–
    Great post, glad I clicked to read it 🙂

  349. Sleemz Awesome Blog says:

    Am just turning 21, and now i know what to expect.

  350. Sampurna says:

    How you make me nervous! I’m 28 and suddenly, after reading your post I feel I’m not growing up anymore; just growing old 😦

  351. I enjoyed reading this but I don’t recognise my twenty year old self in here – maybe my thirty year old self. Perhaps people grow up sooner now, but most of my friends only started getting married in their early thirties (some in late twenties) and we certainly managed to stay up all night a few times – my husband and I even managed it six months ago. It’s possible if you drink enough! Enjoy your twenties – life gets really serious after that! 🙂

  352. p.s you’ve inspired me to write a list of things I didn’t realise before I was a parent and I’ve mentioned you as my inspiration.

  353. Twenties are the training years. We were too stubborn to learn anything as teenagers, and by thirty, we’ll have developed ourselves and become ‘set in our ways’. Embrace it while you can 🙂

    I’m using my twenties to work out how to grow up, and how not to grow up, simultaneously. I’ll let you know…

  354. medotcom says:

    Reblogged this on meDOTcom – Weblog and commented:
    Best post of 2012… I’ll give it deeper thought, maybe reply with my spin. Thanks

  355. Logan says:

    One more thing that we were not warned about was the way Life will turn out. You will have a job, a job that you love, that you are passionate about, and then there will be people who will see you as workaholic, just because the only thing on your mind is the thing you love to do the most, and that’s your job.

    You will realize that the life that you were living on your parents money will be very hard to live on your own, even though you earn almost double what your pocket money was.

    And, you will always feel, you haven’t done enough for your family/friends/gf/bf…..

  356. bymmila says:

    Such a great and honest post. Thank you! It was a pleasure to read it. I am approaching my 20th year (this July) and I have the similar thoughts like you! And I thought I was alone. Or too young to understand.
    Great job and I’m definitely looking forward to new posts!
    P.S. it’s very nice you thanked WordPress for choosing your post to be in Freshly Pressed, so humble of you. It’s a rare value you have there, be sure to keep it. 🙂

  357. jaya says:

    good writings. keep searching. you will find it eventually, or …. not. 😀 enjoy life!

  358. Reblogged this on A Story Untold… and commented:
    Thought this was an amazing piece and had to reblog it. Thanks Doctor Quack

  359. this post got me thinking about my life and the impact i want to make.I am 21yrs old in my first year in the university

  360. great post….really nice one

  361. Just a quick word about… “I had to ask myself heavy existential questions: why am I here? What am I doing? What’s the meaning of all this?”

    I guess you don’t want to know that you may find yourself double the years you are now and asking these same exact questions. ;^) Wish it weren’t true but brace yourself!

    Brilliant writing… it’s a rather long piece and yet at 4am, I’ve read through it entirely and could easily read some more.

  362. You have great insight, usually we can only truly reflect on what has passed and analyze what is done, and hopefully come to a satisfying conclusion, but you’ve managed to get it while you were still going through it. Congrats on the getting pressed!!!

  363. I am 47 and can relate particularly to #2, thus making most of the rest of the list somewhat relatable as well. Grow ups are over rated!

  364. RobinEThornton says:

    I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry when reading this, I ended up doing both.
    Life is a wild ride, my friend and yes, adulthood is a lie. What you feel is responsible (weight), hopefully independent (good), and unfortunately, in debt (the bank lets me live in the house it owns). But mostly I don’t feel any different inside today than I felt when I was in my 20’s. I perhaps have a little more confidence that things will work out. And I am speaking from the Matlock years.

    Congratulations on “Freshly Pressed”! Well deserved!

  365. Tinkerbell says:

    This is awesome. I relate so much to that tension and disappointment and I’m so glad you shared your feelings on the twenties the way you did. I am going to share this post with others, read it a few more times and eventually write my own take on it soon enough; it’s always haunting me anyway. Thanks.

  366. Valera Mahu says:

    LIKE LIKE LIKE PLYZZZ

  367. marcobahena says:

    Dope post man, story of my life.

  368. Hey man,
    Nice post. You did a good job of putting the very things that “nobody warned me about my twenties” into writing. I think we’re just about the same age, and I’m handling my existential crises by living abroad in Beijing, having plenty of love sessions with my scotch (not a gin man myself) and answering innumerable unanswerable, and consequently depressing, questions…
    Check it out if you want, and keep on living the “new teens.”
    Cheers,
    Noah

  369. Hinda says:

    Reblogged this on And Who Are These? and commented:
    What a great take on twenty-somethings. And SO TRUE. Oy.

  370. alexccoleman says:

    Loved this so much – 23 and already brilliantly amazed at the number of blunders you can commit in your early adult life (but also amazed at the emphasis you put on how much those blunders will impact the rest of your life when in all likelihood they won’t).

    I used to be wigged about the marriage thing – but honestly it doesn’t bother me as much. One thing I’ve noticed about married couples is that, despite their super sweet “found their soulmate” thing is that they tend to get a little hermit-like. And you know, your life is not your own anymore, but shared. I like my life – I’m cool with it being “mine” a bit longer.

    Congrats on getting pressed! I’ll definitely be reading more of your posts. 🙂

  371. scorpiostar08 says:

    Reblogged this on College: and what it taught me and commented:
    I’m only 22 and I completely agree with everything.

  372. Jason Kiesau says:

    Great article. I think our 20’s are the most important years of our lives and pre 20’s we’re not really prepared for what the real world is going to demand out of us. Our 20’s will make or break us!

    Nice work!

  373. I feel validated. Thank you!

  374. Leeja says:

    Fucking brilliant – glad to know I’m not the only one that’s completely terrified of having just entered my twenties.

  375. thomshon says:

    WOW. Thank you for this post. I am about to turn 24 and I often find myself struggling with so many of these things. I found comfort in knowing I’m not the only one!

    Great post!

  376. Reblogged this on thismomsfranticmind and commented:
    So true!

  377. puret0ne says:

    As a child of the 70’s, I still haven’t completely figured out who I am and I don’t feel like I’m an adult.
    Should I say, Welcome…? 🙂

  378. sweetopiagirl says:

    Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss and commented:
    Now this is something that I really needed to know when I was in my twenties or before I got there!

  379. addieface says:

    This blog post made me laugh so much!! I’m in my final year of university, about to graduate in five months. So many of these apply to me, and I’ve already started noticing/wondering about many of the revelations you mentioned.

    My favourite bit was the part about milk. I can’t even count how many times my brain does that.

  380. I just turned 30 a couple weeks ago and looking back at my twenties, I am glad they are gone. I totally grew up in my 20s. I went from being an independent, confident girl who was ready for some freedom and could take on the world, to nearly failing out of college and hanging out with the wrong boys, to pulling myself back together, graduating college, getting a full time job in my degree path and marrying the love of my life. Hit rock bottom and bounced back up! I am looking forward to the next 10 years knowing whatever happens, I can take it on! (my skin is more clear too!) 🙂

  381. Jennifer M. says:

    Very funny stuff here! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I’m 41 years old (ancient, I know), and I can confirm that adulthood is a lie. I still haven’t figured out what to be when I grow up – a blogger, maybe – and I’m supposed to help my 14 year-old son figure this out, too? But I figure the alternative to growing older is death, and I’m not really ready for that, so I’ll face my next birthday with this motto: “Keep moving forward.” (Walt Disney said that).

  382. Lady Tam Li says:

    Great post! 😀 Even though I’m in my early 30s, I agree with everything you said about the 20s. They’re weird and confusing, and it’s hard to figure out where life is taking you.

    But hang in there! And don’t forget your dreams! ^___^

  383. I can honestly say, that my first 20 years have some great memories, but nothing is more enjoyable than the second half. For most people, the average lifespan is close to 80 years… that’s 20 years for each quarter. Let’s just say I learned a lot during the half-time huddle, and now it’s game on for an exceptional finish in the second half. Don’t get defeated from your past mistakes; grow out of them and make a positive investment in the lifes of others.

  384. Smaktakula says:

    Some good insights into what it means to be a twenty-something in contemporary society. I do think that this is an aspect of our age. If we were living 100 or more years ago, we wouldn’t have the luxury to become not only dumber, but more retarded as well.

  385. raajtram says:

    When something happens in your life and you have nobody to blame …just forget that it happened…!! And if there’s an appreciation that someone deserves, don’t forget to do that !!

  386. Kristen says:

    I love this! All of these points are (painfully) true. I’m currently in full-on angst mode about being in my twenties, and those existential questions you described are relentless. You articulated the mingled despair and joy of new-found adulthood so well! It’s a strange place to be, but it’s good to know I’m not alone 🙂

  387. Near says:

    and then somewhere along the line when you start studying physics again and reflecting on all that you had hoped to accomplish- you realize that life is but a dream, nothing really exists except in our minds and imagination.
    Then you wished you got out of the rat race, the loans, debt, school, the man-made system that basically shuts down and breaks down the human potential to explore that which REALLY brings you joy and peace instead of a 9 to 5, no matter how many possessions it buys you.
    You WILL go higher, my friend. Keep exploring, don’t ever stop dreaming. Because once the dream dies, you die- there is nothing else.

  388. Ashley says:

    Doing the 9-5 thing totally does NOT make me feel like any more of an adult. Probably because everyone else in my office is over 45 and basically old enough to be my parent. So, instead I get treated like a kid. Again. Always.

    You totally hit it on the head for everything though. 25 and still alive, but lord knows what tomorrow holds.

  389. flixxed says:

    Peace and love mate! I totally resonate with your thoughts, at least we are not alone in these changes so i dedicate you a song that might go well with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aWeQL3LD9g.
    Cheers

  390. Reblogged this on atruthfulplace and commented:
    I feel ya.

  391. harmamae says:

    I just wanted to say… I think you express some of the challenges of being in your twenties very well. Such as confusing decade, isn’t it?

  392. Parixit says:

    Brilliant post!!! @0 somethings need to see this for sure!!

  393. Great post and a lot of fun to read. I especially like #9. “Yes, life has more tragedies, but the stakes are higher. Life has greater joys too.” Very true!

  394. This is so true. Great post!

  395. midnitechef says:

    Congrats on FP! I’ve just left the 20’s, but they haven’t left me it seems. I think our generation is stuck in line at the DMV of life, there’s so many baby boomers ahead of us that they’ve taken up most of the societal space. They’ve just started to retire, at least those that can afford to, so the 20-somethings and 30-somethings can begin adulthood (aka take the jobs). You 10+ perspectives are probably the fuel behind Occupy protesters…

  396. Reblogged this on Minimalist Living and commented:
    Hugely entertaining. Just wait until you’re in you 40’s.

  397. What If I Were You by Creation Of MImo says:

    One thing went into my mind when I read your post, SUPER RELATABLE.
    I am now in my early twenties and everything you listed ,those are all happening to me.
    Good job!

  398. daniemarie says:

    I totally hear you on a lot of that!

    There was a great show called Wonderfalls that was about the time between college and career, but unfortunately it got cancelled in its first season due to low ratings (in the US…in Canada it was really popular, but unfortunately Canadian ratings don’t count).

  399. What If I Were You by Creation Of MImo says:

    Reblogged this on What If I Were You and commented:
    You Would Love this If You’re in Your 20s

  400. Found your blog as I was logging into update my craft biz blog and just wanted to tell you I love your post- I share your sentiments, so much. I’m 23. I am not at all ready to “grow up”, I’m selfish, sort of lazy, an internet entrepreneur and also currently without a “career”. So far away from that potential I had in high school and college and not at all ready for the responsibilities of a career or children. The only difference, I am married. Courthouse style. Helped with our college financial aid, but I’m not even grown up enough for that either.

    But yeah- I too thought my 20s were going to a wonderful time, but now I realize that being in your 20s is all about trying to establish yourself- trying to find a job or career that allows you the luxuries you dreamed of as a teen and finally realizing and consoling yourself with the thought that “maybe my 30s will be better…”

    Anywho, can’t wait to see more from you- definitely going to keep tabs!

  401. Hidden User says:

    Yesterday I read the part of “But in popular media, nothing exists between adulthood and college.” to my boyfriend and we agreed that you are fairly correct. Then, last night we downloaded the first season of Two Broke Girls (coincidentally) and found that this show is protrays the perfect amount of “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life!”. +1 for us. Oh and PS, Fry does not hold the torch for us. Maybe for H.S. freshman – juniors, but not for us. I haven’t seen that show in years. I don’t know anybody who watches it.

  402. corlosky says:

    I haven’t even reached my twenties yet and I know how you feel. I can’t relate to all the points, but a lot of them are present in my everyday thought bubble. And while I’m glad to know I’m not the only one going through it (yes, I’m fully aware this is a fact, it’s just nice to be reminded every so often), it’s disheartening to know that I still have a huge struggle ahead of me in terms of escaping the confusion of this period in my life. Great post though. Thanks for writing exactly what I’ve been thinking. And congratulations!

  403. and i though my teenage years were hard!

  404. jodesmodes says:

    Reblogged this on The Enchanted Mind and commented:
    I more than love this. Read read reaaaaaaad.

  405. Truly words of wisdom coming out on this blog. This is like some strange connection to my own past. Well done.

  406. I am almost 28 and I am sincerely hoping that the 30’s will at least have new problems. 😛
    Definitely relating to everything in here. Great post, I’ll be reading. 🙂

    Bethany

  407. Jesus, I hope it’s a combination of Philip J. Fry and Morbo that carry the torch for us.

  408. Jixi Fox says:

    Reblogged this on Jixi Fox: Creative Comedian & Artist and commented:
    such a awesome blog post…the things they never told us.

  409. Amanda says:

    i couldn’t stop laughing… and then sighing… oh, twenties. no one tells you growing up sucks.

  410. sweetpeakenzie says:

    This is the first time I’ve come across your blog and I have to say: for a second I thought I was reading myself. A little less than two months shy of my 23rd birthday and everything you’ve contemplated or fleshed out in this post has matched with my “lonely twenties.” Even the sweet parts. Of course, I can’t really say I’ve ‘grown up’ yet; I’m about to re-enter school as a postgraduate and again sink into the ambiguous mire that is student life. But it was fun to discover that I am a constantly changing being. I finally found out that’s not such a bad thing. I can still surprise myself. I had so much fun reading this and realising that I’m not exactly alone in thinking of my twenties as somewhat…awkward. It’s a pleasure to find a like mind. You are absolutely golden my friend- I look forward to more!

  411. ktaop says:

    I just found this blog “accidently”.. I never ever left a comment, but..As i’m reading your comments,i just feel sorry for you guys.. Western people forgot everything about life. It’s a fact. What do you remember about the living universe? Did you know, that the Sun is living, just like you (not really, Sun’s life is more advanced)? Can you remember to the real history of the human nation? Are you believe in the Big Bang theory bullshit? Or Christianity? Or Islam? All fucked up, made to defeat you. and what about the spiritual level? Do you really believe that calory is the only energy resource for the human?? Can you see the astral? I have thousands of questions like these, but i can answer them, and i can justify my answers. What about you? I don’t want to mess with you, or tellin you, that i’m the numero uno, and you are just idiots. Because it’s not true. Have you ever wondered about the stupidity of the people around you, or about the stupidity of the government, monetary system, secret societies, school, medical care, “scientists”, materialism, religion, quality of music, food, water, media, etc. I know that you know: this is not accidental. Please, think again. You should care about the real important things in life, remember! Don’t stop at the evident childish questions, pessimism, vomit from the tv, fuckin brands and commercials, money, shitty music, fuckin parties all the time, censored and false teachings from the schools you know, the bullshit level! Fuck that, i’m middle european, 20, wrote 2 books, arguing with the professor at the university, train my body, doing different types of meditations and spiritual exercises, eating raw food in most cases, learning about everything all the time. It’s hard to mislead or manipulate me, lie to me, hurt me, or even hate me. Here in my country, we don’t say, it’s wierd. It’s quite common, and we have larger and larger numbers day by day. Thousand of brothers and sisters in all ages, with attitude. You should do somethin too, western folks…

  412. azphoenix says:

    And the thing is… when you’re in your 30s, you’ll just keep on changing!

  413. Teacher Girl says:

    Ditto to everything!!

  414. ioduok says:

    Thanks for the laugh! I graduated college last May and your post really hit a chord with me. Number two especially. I keep going to professional networking events where all I do is stand around awkwardly and try not to make inappropriate comments and gestures. I’m too weird to be an adult!

  415. Kate says:

    Dude, this is hilarious. I literally read the part about the TA and the milk out loud to my roommate because, unfortunately, this is how my head works, too. Never a dull moment in this head of mine (or yours either, it seems!)! Then again, not too many “Eureka!” moments happening right now, either…

    Congrats on all the recognition!

  416. linskyistatkova says:

    Reblogged this on Zero Gravity Communications and commented:
    That may be a bit of a twist but the man knows what a true retard is! So whenever I say I am one, that’s quite part of what I mean. It’s just that he’s more experienced! Enjoy!

  417. As a 24 year old kid with an English degree, I cannot overstate my appreciation of this article. You nailed it, man. I’m sharing this with everyone I know, and would just like to add that your late twenties are also when you start forgetting how old you are. Godspeed.

  418. Not All Who Wonder Are Lost says:

    Reblogged this on Not All Who Wonder Are Lost and commented:
    I relate so much to this…it’s incredible!

  419. I’m going to second Fiona.q’s comment on your about page:
    “you are a so funny guy”

    But deep, too, especially for someone so young. Keep it up. Life only gets more interesting as you go (and fun).

  420. Montier says:

    Congrats on being freshly pressed! Dope article by the way

  421. madamfickle says:

    A wonderful piece. Congratulations!. I have trouble remembering high school also, and college. Pretty much everything up through yesterday is pretty blurry actually.

  422. sas100 says:

    Reblogged this on Why Wouldn't That Happen and commented:
    so true

  423. Wise post! Wait until you hit 30, it gets worse. lol

  424. redheadjourney says:

    I’m 37 and I still don’t know what it’s like to be an “adult” yet. God forbid I ever have to find out.
    Re: #10, the changing never stops. It can make you crazy, but trust me…it’s a good thing.

  425. hannahzinnia says:

    23, graduated May 2011. No job. You just described my life. From what time you go to bed (I’m 3 and 12) to the friends getting married, to the becoming more dumb (I thought about milk for a full paragraph). This is hilarious but also beyond depressing because it is so true. I think my favorite part was the tv shows. Jumping from Dawson’s Creek, etc to Friends. There’s no “I’ve graduated college and am fucked” shows or even shows really about people in college. Oh hell, I’m rambling. Very nice essay.
    Peace,
    Z

  426. I loved this! As a 30 something , I have lived your 20 something and then some. I was told once that once you hit 30, people take your seriously. As if 20 something was indicative of mush brain and tomfoolery! Well, supposedly, sex is fantastic in 30’s and even better in 40’s (not there yet) and your metabolism is PUBLIC ENEMY #1! But the best part? The ride is unique as it is your own, to be shared and laughed with friends and eventually, your own family.

    Enjoy your 20’s, it gets alittle better with age 🙂

  427. Michelle says:

    Reblogged this on Dreality and commented:
    This defined my current life situation pretty quickly.

  428. teacher says:

    too much turmoil in your twenties, big highs and bigger lows. smooths out in your 30s, really.

  429. ennsanjana says:

    Ohmigosh….I damn near shit myself when I started reading this. Point by point, I can relate. I’m a recent graduate (going on a litle less than a year), and I see the glimmers of all ten points in me. Kinda freaky….

    Nice work. I’ll be perusing the rest of your blog now…

  430. monkiss says:

    Funny! It sucks when you can no longer stay awake late, I concur.
    Enjoyed the read.

  431. mindo240 says:

    Awesome post. In your twenties you begin the quest towards fulfilling the illusions we call life. The sooner one realizes they are illusions the sooner one can start really enjoying life. Life’s not a movie or book it’s just life. There are no winners or losers.

  432. Reblogged this on and commented:
    I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way sometimes about being in my 20s. Some of this guys points I agree with, while others not so much. All in all, I thought that this post was great enough to share!

  433. This was a very fun, and entertaining post! I liked it so much that I re-blogged it to my audience 🙂 I personally, am in my late 20s, so I feel your pain. You’re not “quite an adult,” but you’re not a teenager or a kid anymore. It really is a depressing thought. Great post!

  434. doodliness says:

    I absolutely loved this post. Even if I can’t exactly apply or relate to this for the next 6 years or so.
    It’s so clever, organic, and relatable that I was laughing through it the whole time. Thanks so much for making this post.

  435. Tara says:

    I so loved this!

  436. Man, I’m just about done my teens and that felt like forever. Now this!?

  437. madi says:

    i had 2.5 hours of sleep last night. the coffee, it isn’t working. now that i know i’m not alone, can make it through the rest of the day. thank you 🙂

  438. majavendelbo says:

    I love how you write! Thank you for this post. I’m 23, I should have worked in the studio this morning – but my classmate has decided that the studio is a good place to sleep (amongst the fumes of turpentine and oil paint) and has locked the door from inside. So I read this instead, and it’s lovely!

  439. Oh wow, this is a looooong post. Anyway, I enjoyed reading this one because I myself is also in my quarter life. We’ll get through this stage. All of us will grow old, but unfortunately only few will grow up.

  440. This was brilliant! It was like someone was inside my brain and writing as they read my thoughts! I’m twenty three and dthis is EXACTLY how I feel!

    Well done, mate!

  441. Angel says:

    The marriage conversation thingy….ugghh… Spot on! And the “LOONY BIN” HAHAHAHHAHA Hilarious!

  442. innocent1 says:

    If it’s any consolation milk is supposed to be good for you although I’m not entirely sure if that applies to abstract thinking as well.

    Great post! I could identify with a lot of it which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending on your viewpoint.

  443. Aaaaaaaaaaaand, you still can’t get a real job. Definitely still a teenager. Thank you for getting it, and putting it into words.

  444. runstoprun says:

    Reblogged this on runstoprun and commented:
    To SOOOO many of my friends who are in this magical age group!

  445. sslipori says:

    As a 22 year-old I can not agree enough with most of this list

    thumbs up

  446. dafrk says:

    Reblogged this on dafrk and commented:
    test

  447. thatbittersweet says:

    Reblogged this on thatbittersweet.

  448. DAlmeida says:

    I’m getting my 36th anniversary soon and I started to feel like finally becoming myself (is that becoming an adult?) just a few months ago. Here in Portugal, everybody uses to say that real life begins in the age of 40. Well… I think I’m starting to feel that way too :-). Sorry, I didn’t mean to torture you with my comment, eheheheheh, and to prove that I can say that I love ducks too, I photograph them all the time!:-) Great post! Congrats!

  449. I think that you have expressed perfectly the thinks I think in my own thoughts. Well done, and know that you are not alone in this, we are all paranoid and waiting for the grown up part to start and not quite realising that we are already in it!

  450. menamo says:

    So many comments. Love this: “…and as I got back home from the airport at 8:00am, I tucked myself in bed realizing that as long as I eat dinner at 10pm and fall asleep around 2:30am every morning after doing my midnight grocery shopping with the drunkards and insomniacs, I will never know what it’s like to be an adult.” I think once we shop during the day and wake up before the sun, we are definitely adults.

  451. Dark Fent says:

    I will turn 20 this year and this just freaked me out. Some already happened, I wish nothing bad would happen to me. Nicely done.

  452. I completely agree with you! I’m 28, turning the dreaded 29 this year…and that means almost 30 😦 boo. But I sometimes I wake up and realize that I’m a married adult with 3 kids…but I feel just as confused as I was in my teen years sometimes.

  453. gaycarboys says:

    Life keeps changing. I still feel 20 although I turned 50 last year. 50 sounds so old, and 20 sounds so young. I guess in the end life is exactly as it should be:)

  454. Brilliant post! Why are you so much wiser that me when I have so many years * (* okay then decades) on you?

    Lesley, currently panicing as her brain must have activated shut-down mode:)

  455. xerolt9 says:

    Not only was this inspiring, it actually ‘touched’ me. I learned some new things about life through this post. Thank you 🙂

    (www.thebambooshoots.com)

  456. Ellē says:

    I just wanted to say I really enjoyed this piece. I am in the home stretch of my 20’s (29 :() and it was so neat to get to look back on the last decade of my life through this perspective. My husband and I (he is 34) always talk about how we wouldn’t want to be back in our early/mid-twenties for anything and you articulated so well all of the reasons why I wouldn’t want to go back as well as all of the reasons it is worth pushing through.

    Great list! I may re-blog it if I can choose which of my sites would be most appropriate. Good Luck with the rest of your twenties.

  457. grightnow says:

    True. Thanks for sharing. Me too end up looking for something nobody tells me what!
    Just sharing:
    http://grightnow.wordpress.com/2012/02/20/are-you-looking-for-something-2/
    Cheers

  458. ellelamothe says:

    I have to say that this made me laugh so hard, but then I thought about it, and every bit of it is true. You have quite a gift for describing exactly how all of us 20-somethings feel. Awesome post.

  459. BeingmrsdrD says:

    Awesome post! I’m in my thirties and can say that the 20s were definitely teenage years part II! It gets better, in the 30s but then you can’t really get away with asking the question ‘What will I be when I grow up?’ because you’re like shucks, I’m grown up and I still don’t know what I’ll be!? All the best with your writing!

  460. Rosie Struve says:

    Wondered why this was so relatable.
    Saw the words Los Altos Hills.
    It all makes sense.

  461. lol I’m 22 and incapable of staying up all night!

  462. desi83 says:

    Thank you for writing this. I can totally relate, and I’m scared too death that I will find more surprises in my thirties! This year I’ll be celebrating (or mourning) the last year of my twenties. But seriously, what you said definitely holds true for most of us in our twenties. I myself feel like I’m a bit behind schedule, or at least the schedule that society seems to have in place for us.

  463. raebot00 says:

    I’m thinking about milk. Although I don’t like it.

  464. wakeupami says:

    Every single one of these is almost painfully true. I just turned 23 last week so I don’t have the retrospect yet, but it’s like you’re talking about all of the things we talked about at the birthday party. By the way, I kicked everyone out at 1 a.m. 😉

  465. K.A. Nicholas says:

    Hold on to number 10. With any luck you will always ‘still’ be changing.

  466. jaclynmcneil says:

    This is awesome and also a little bit frightening. I’m graduating from college in May and will be moving back in with the parents until I start “making my own money”. Something about it is so degrading yet, I have no other choice. In high school we were forced to live with these room mates but we never really argued with it. Now, I’m still forced to live with them but have some sort of complex that they are lucky that I’m moving back in. In reality, I’m lucky I have them.

  467. jaclynmcneil says:

    Reblogged this on jaclynmcneil and commented:
    This rang very true with me…sadly

  468. ltlfrari says:

    Just to cheer you up (or not). It doesn’t get any better in your Forties, or Fifties, and I am pretty sure, given that I am almost there, that it won’t be any better in your Sixties either. So basically, none of us know where we have been or how we got here and we have pretty much no clue about where we will be tomorrow either! Don’t ya just love life! Mind you, sucky and confusing as it may be, it sure beats the alternative. So in the immortal words of Dory the fish “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming”. There, you’ve got that song in your head now haven’t you and it won’t go away! See, I’ve already made your life better. You can thank me later!

  469. Glory View Music says:

    This post made me laugh out loud and reflect. Kindda true man. Thanks.

  470. Hilarious and yet completely true! I can barely remember conversations I had yesterday let alone who was in 3rd period French. And trust me, LA traffic was a rude “Wake up you’re an adult!” call for a lot of us! I really enjoyed this and am now a follower!

    Obligatory shameless post to my blog: http://notsodomesticdiva.wordpress.com/2012/02/17/thoughts-upon-turning-30/

  471. ahitagni says:

    That’s so true…..I also feel the same.

  472. This is so true. I am 30 now and still feel like I am acting like an adult many times even though I have two kids and a house now! It is also very true that our brains are still growing until we are at least 26 in fact studies show that we don’t make decisions the same way as people older than 26 when we are younger than that, including “reading” anger on others differently. It kind of makes you think about things like voting, driving, and drugs and alcohol. Especially the last two since those can actually stop your brains ability to grow stunting you emotionally. The brain is so amazing and weird. So is being a so called adult! 🙂

  473. I definitely agree that our 30s are the new 20s. Years ago, you went to school and started performing right away. Now, our 20s are the time to learn and our 30s are when we start kicking butt based on what we learned.

    Then again, maybe it’s that we just never settle anymore. We keep asking “Now what?” (http://lifesflightplan.com/2011/11/10/im-30-now-what/) and we keep learning that life’s opportunities never stop. And how exciting is that??

  474. You have a great voice. I am no longer a member of the 20-somethings club, but my membership didn’t expire THAT long ago and so much of what you said was spot-on. I happen to have the unique prespective of watching a classroom full of 5th graders stress about someone who told them they smelled or that they suck at basketball and suddenly their world is crumbling around them. I often find myself saying to them, “It’s not the end of the world”, but until you are on the other side of some major period in your life, whether it’s your teens or your twenties, it IS the end of the world. I remember times in college that I thought I would literally die from all of the deadlines, social pressures and major career decisions I was being forced to deal with at a time in my life where I wasn’t even old enough to rent a car and my future plans only stretched as far as a Saturday rave in Toronto and sleeping in until 3 pm on Sunday. I’d like to say that life gets easier or you feel more settled in your 30’s but I would be lying. Home ownership, parenting and actually succeeding in that career you worked so hard for in college all present new stresses and higher hurdles to jump. But I can tell you this, life might not get easier but it will constantly change and sometimes even amaze you in the process.

  475. iWee says:

    Wow, just stumbled across your blog-post from the Freshly-pressed section. Very inspirational and interesting reading!

    Regards, another guy in his twenties soon graduating from university (currently daydreaming while waiting for my structural analysis to complete).

  476. Loved this blog…will forward to my 20-something children. At age 57 I am still wondering what I will do next. Thank you and congratulations on being freshly pressed.

  477. unfinishedbizness says:

    Love this. As a 26 year old mom however, with a 6 year old daughter… I spend more time freaking out about the fact that I don’t quite feel like a grown up, but I’ve got this kid and her friends and all her friend’s parents tricked into thinking I am one. I look at all the 40-somethings at the PTA meetings, at the Girl Scout meetings, at the birthday parties… and I wonder if I will seem that put-together when I’m older. I wonder if they look at me and wonder what the heck happened? Ahhh… wondering 🙂 Thanks for a great read Dr. Q!

  478. hangryhippo says:

    What do we, the non-professional post-college good-for-nothing twenties have?
    –Thank you thank you thank you for this post. I identify with every single thing you wrote here, and am insanely jealous that you were able to do so in an infinitely more eloquent and humorous fashion than I ever will be.
    Also, marry me? We could be soulmates….

  479. Although I’m not in my twenties anymore, I can relate all to well to your post 🙂

  480. mike09135 says:

    This post is GOLD…

    As a 20 year-old, I found this to be quite interesting. I often find myself looking ahead in life, worrying about the ‘bigger things” (career, love, money, & etc.). All of that shit will fall into place, in its’ own time, maybe not as soon as I would like. Anyhow, think I’ll just have to cherish the now more than anything. Take life as it comes.

  481. I love that you are writing with so much honesty. Save this entry and mail it to yourself in 20 years. You will smile and be thankful for all the questions you started asking earlier than many. I think you may also be surprised at your own insight/awareness. And milk? I totally get that. Dude, you’re 40’s are gonna rock. ENJOY the ride!

  482. missjy86 says:

    What a great read! Thanks for this well written entry that I will never forget!

  483. Chris says:

    I’m 24 and thought this was honest and great because of it!

  484. Anna says:

    I am 29, at the very end of my 20s… and only now am I starting to have that inkling of adulthood.

    It’ll come…

  485. shane peltzer says:

    That was a great post, so thank you for that. As a guy in his late 20’s I have to say that I have hated every moment of my 20’s and I am glad to know I’m not the only one. Who knew being a young adult would be so hard and confusing. 🙂

  486. garden.poet says:

    Crap…and here I thought that once I reached twenty, I was set! Another teenage dream gone…
    And your ending note is very thoughtful. Makes me feel less: goggle-eyed “freshly pressed! such witty people…freshly pressed…” goggle-eyed. 🙂

  487. Thank you so much. I feel like this has been time well spent. I will definitely be following your blog from now on.

  488. Great post! I don’t think you’re fully grown up until you hit 35 because you can’t run for president before age 35. 🙂
    Oh yes, I fully agree with it being weird that people my age (I’m also in my 20s) are having babies.

    Life: the growing pains never end–they play tricks on us and keep changing

  489. I’m 23 and i think the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that life is not about the destination or that “perfect life” you constantly strive for. Because in all reality, life Is about the journey and not just the destination. So stop and smell the roses, gain as many new experiences as you can, and meet as many people as you can. And me being in my early 20s, One thing i also realized was when you posted ” my dictionary of joys and sorrows have increased beyond college problems, and what would have once evoked my greatest pity is now just annoying. And, for those of you still working away at that bachelor degree, you too will find this out soon enough: tests come and go, but existential crises are here to stay.”…i can really relate to that. The minuscule teen angst relationship problems are just plain annoying to me although i was once in that stage. But being 23 isn’t so bad, with every age there are pro’s and con’s but when you get past a certain age and degree of life lessons the pro’s far outweigh the cons because you either realize how to deal with them or you just realize they were stupid and forget about it.
    Anywho, I’m rambling so i’ll end this here but great article. Really made me think. Keep up the great work!

    On another note, even if people would have given me this advice or warnings when i was 18,19, or 20 i probably wouldn’t have listened. A lot of the times you have to actually go through things to truly grasp and understand what life is all about.

  490. Oni Rutzen says:

    so what it seems is that you gauge your life by your responsibilities and aging mental “state”, my friend, the quest of life only ends when your soul leaves you, becoming mature but keeping your childlike wonder will complete you in the end

  491. Briana May says:

    = my life. I’m in my early 20s and I think this article is great, I love it!

  492. 6,7,8 are good but 8+9 is REALLY good. Ok no, 7 is good. It’s really like my ability to understand is deteriorating. I looked back at some of my college work and I was wondering how in the world I could’ve known all those things that I have no impression of at all today!!

  493. pianosaurus says:

    Thank you for writing this. I just turned 25 and am constantly realizing how much of my life is just.. not what it was 1, 2, 5 years ago. It’s fascinating, sad, interesting, amazing and scary, yet life continues to go on and I’m trying to learn how to take it day by day instead of over-thinking about how much I’ve accomplished, how much I haven’t accomplished and so on.

    Your post has really helped me realize how much I have to let go in order to move forward. It also showed me no matter what I’ve done or will do, my life is my own and I have no regrets.

    Thanks again!

  494. missririh says:

    Reblogged this on Alice in Wonder Me and commented:
    This is 100% true! I’ve been in this phase for the past 4 years. I’m getting older 😦

  495. Doctor Quack,
    This has had me rolling for the past 15 minutes of reading. I am a 40 something Mom of 4 with a 20 year old, and there are still times in my life when I feel like your statements still apply! I have learned one thing…maturity doesn’t come with age, it comes with the acceptance of responsibility. Thanks for putting it all into words we can all relate to and understand.
    Patti

  496. Vicky says:

    Truly a great post! I’m 23 and can completely relate to almost all of the points you made!

  497. LilacSan says:

    Hi Quack,

    I have to say I’ve never laughed and cried so much in my life. Really enjoyed reading this. Being a 23-year old unemployed graduate, I can directly relate to your points. You spoke the words of my current meagre existence. Keep at it!

  498. LilacSan says:

    Reblogged this on The Odd One Out and commented:
    My Man of the Match!

  499. el7deraul says:

    I just read this whole thing cause it showed up on the most read entries (I’m a WordPress noob) and it was really great, I’m impressed by all the true things you said on your blog, I’m following you now and I will definetely try to read as many of your entries as I can (or as many as my work schedule allows me to read) keep up the good work!

  500. jorhlok says:

    This is an amazing post! And timely too. I’m 19 right now. A few more months and I’ll be in my own twenties.

  501. I like this post, enjoyed this one thanks for putting up.

  502. chienna says:

    I love this article! Sooo true. Well at least Gossip Girl is now based on uni life… but they’re wealthy and have it all … so we can’t empathize with them.

    xxx Renee
    http://chienna.wordpress.com/

  503. I’m 25 and I still get that “omg I’m an ADULT” feeling every now and again. Moved out of home 7 years ago, working a good job in the city, drive, etc etc, but I still feel 17!

  504. candienziia says:

    “What do we, the non-professional post-college good-for-nothing twenties have? Futurama? Is Philip J. Fry the torch-bearer for my people?” – yes, I believe he may be it. I also may have to go hang myself now.

  505. candienziia says:

    Reblogged this on because i can and commented:
    Here is a post that so eloquently describes everything that embodies my life at the moment, I’m not even going to try to top it.

  506. Thank you so much for posting this. Twenties are a confusing and ambiguous time, and I don’t think anyone gives twenty-somethings enough credit. You spend so long being defined as a “baby”, a “toddler”, a “child” a “preteen” and then so so long as a “teen”, what are you as a twenty? Suddenly you’re in your thirties and an “Adult” (whatever that means) so thank you for being the one to finally write something crediting to us twenty-somethings. It was a great read 🙂

  507. Wing says:

    Reblogged this on AdverDesigns and commented:
    What I soon be thinking about /Being Scared sh*tless about when I hit my twenteens D:

  508. Pink Ninjabi says:

    Thank you for reminding me what life was like in my twenties and to not apologize for them in my thirties (which can actually creep up faster than you think). Like I remember being 25 and thinking, oh yeah, I’ll never be 30. And bam! I’m 32. Which is like the new twenties because you have more time to figure things out like not giving a rat’s arse of what people think (usually) and going for what you care about (often). Thank you for sharing… 😀 And for reminding me of unexpected pleasantries to come as hitting my 30s I found I lost that zeal from my 20s and the energy that came with it. But once you find it, it can be even more stable and strong based on the experience of your earlier yours.

    Thank you for reminding others to be strong too.. 😀

    • Doctor Quack says:

      I have heard on occasion that the thirties are like the twenties, but done right and with more money. Hopefully this holds true.

      • Pink Ninjabi says:

        Yes, although lemme just say how depressing it is when you are making the same amount of money as you did in your twenties, thanks to this economy. Or excuses employers make about this economy. Lowered expectations helps me. Because then instead of being disappointed by high hopes, you are pleasantly surprised by unexpected pleasantries (which brings it back to your optimistic point in which should never be taken for granted, and always cultivated, or else you lose it somewhere, like in your morning coffee on the way to work). Keep up your hope.. It is refreshing, and what I miss now that I am in my thirties. :D). You inspire me. Thank you. 😀

      • Doctor Quack says:

        Even thirty might be too young to lose hope. I was hoping to stave off hopelessness until at least my early sixties when I have bad knees and a replacement hip (assuming I’m still alive). But alas, thanks for the link.

        And that morning coffee is possibly the greatest miracle that has ever been bestowed upon the earth.

      • Pink Ninjabi says:

        I completely agree. Maybe it’s more like realistic hope versus “I can be a super-hero hope”. Like as in, life is what happens to you while you’re making plans. You make plans but know they could completely change, and you have to be flexible and adaptable with that, even if it’s begrudgingly and trust yourself to get through it.

        One thing that keeps me hopeful is that apparently we become happier as we get older because we learn more about life and how to handle it. I agree, except we also collect a lot of grief with it along the way. Thus, it is important to grieve through things whether it be a lost hope, expectation or dream, and then move on (versus complete denial, and dismissal of its importance as our society encourages us to do).

        Hope that helps as I wish I had learned this when I was 23 versus 32. 😀

      • Pink Ninjabi says:

        P.S. to add some hope to my last dreary comment (which I encourage you not to foster in your life), http://baexpat.com/2012/02/14/10-easy-things-you-can-do-to-improve-your-life-today/. 😀

  509. neonvoltag says:

    Great article! I’m turning 23 this year…I pretty much can relate to all 10 things…
    I graduated from university last July and I came back home to be with my family to work…REALITY Strikes! Even though I have a job and the youngest child in the family, I’m being treated like a 13 year-old teenage girl with a curfew and constant nag from my parents…
    The question is…”when, do you really grow up?”
    Few more years to go…wait and see I guess….
    p.s. Love this article!

  510. Liv Gaggi says:

    Shit, I’m 21 (almost 22) and that was really depressing.

  511. Midnight says:

    I don’t know about you, but I’ve gone through a 1/4life crisis. (It originated when I was 18, but I went through it again when I turned 21)
    No one warned me!! I was sitting there (on both occasions), and realized…. ‘Shit… I’m getting older. Being 18 is practically 20. I’m not a teenager anymore!’
    AND THEN:
    ‘Damn… 21… Yes! I can drink in bars now! But wait… That means I’ll be 22 soon…. And once I’m 22 there isn’t really anything exciting till 25. Shit, 25? That’s halfway to 30! OMG I’m GOING TO BE 30?!?!’ And so on. Until on my 18th birthday I had a panic attack about turning 50.

  512. Reblogged this on Astrojeeta's Blog and commented:
    Very interesting and humorous post on life during twenties.

  513. Thank you so much for posting this. Gr8 post

  514. Tanaya says:

    Thanks for visiting my site @ blogspot!

    I just read your post and it was hilarious! I really like the part about there aren’t much shows about our awkward age group and forgetting stuff we used to learn. Yeah, it is kinda retarded in a mental-dementia-half-amnesia kind of way.

    I like how you ended the post about us having a different perspective about the joys in life. That is so true. It’s like a wall has tumbled down and you get a totally different view. I look forward to reading more of your posts. It’s thoroughly enjoyable!

  515. Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon every day. It’s always exciting to read content from other authors and practice a little something from their web sites.

  516. So much of your post is true, I get up on a sunday and ask myself where is everyone?! oh right.. working 😉

  517. Test Anchor says:

    I’m amazed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog that’s both educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is something that not enough folks are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy that I stumbled across this in my hunt for something concerning this.

  518. Ladyladymewomeow says:

    Thank you for giving me a very happy laugh! I’m a 24 year old girl and I’ve been searching the whole wide interwebs for a post on this topic of such a caliber! Don’t you find that no one takes you seriously either despite your best efforts in your twenties? As a person who really values childlike imagination and artistic creativity it’s particularly hard for me personally to accept the idea of this false “adulthood” without at least changing some of its terms! As an artist I’ve never been one to fully embrace that anyway, and I don’t see that happening anytime in even the distant future. I guess because creative types *tend*to ask the question “why?” frequently. At a mother’s day family gathering yesterday my aunt put her hand on my younger brother’s shoulder, a recent proud holder of a BA in philosophy and said:
    Aunt: “OH darling, How does it feel to be out of college? I bet you’re so happy!”
    Brother: *shrug and a face*, “Ummm, college was fun.”
    Aunt( not really listening): ” I bet you’re so done with late night papers! My daughters were wonderful students but they are so glad to be out and getting on with their (happily engaged, and warm for the oven bun-making) lives”
    Brother: “Well I was a philosophy major, so I didn’t think papers were that painful because I enjoy writing. I might even try and travel to China and teach english”
    Aunt: ” Well, you know…. you’ve gotta grow up sometime”
    It seemed like a totally innocuous conversation to every other “adult” around. These kind of conversations happen every day! How awful is that! How dare she poison my brother!
    Why can’t life be full of possibilities and endlessly magical? The day I stop believing that is the day I will probably shoot myself, but not before remembering that you had a romantic night with your gin bottle. I will try that first!
    Oh and I wrote this reply from my parent’s basement!

    • Doctor Quack says:

      Nights with the bottle of gin are always romantic, but just like love between people, don’t get too controlling over that gin. Give it its space from time to time, and it will love you back.

      Thank you for your response. It’s a shame about your brother. Teaching abroad sounds much better than being a cubicle monkey, and the way I see adulthood projected to me, that’s all adults do – be cubicle monkeys.

      If you haven’t seen “The Graduate,” you need to see it. That scene with your brother sounds like the scene by the pool when the family friend gives the advice about “Plastics!”

  519. s kterým bych si v životě neuměla představit společné fungováním. Velké dítě , ​​ale krasny .

  520. Wow. I needed this. Being in your twenties is so rough. At least I know I’m not alone on this.

  521. Eddie says:

    Wow, great post, man.

    I’m in my mid 26s and I totally see my self in this piece.
    I originally landed on this article while searching for ideas on ways to guide my 18-year-old brother through the troubling years that are the late teens and early twenties. He’s at that age where you start to mess up and all of a sudden real consequences arise.

    It’s not until after I got out of that stage in life that I realized how much help a little guidance from somebody who understood what I was going through would have been. I want to set him on the right track and try to prepare him for what’s to come so that he’s not caught by surprise upon leaving college and realizing he’s got nothing figured out and that all those skills and individual qualities he thought made him special won’t help him stand out from the other 10,000 people in his graduating class when looking for a job.

    I’m wondering if you have any suggestions on this topic. I’m thinking of enrolling him in courses and activities outside of school (on my dime) to explore the more unorthodox interests he may have. Whether it be design, cooking, dance, or glass making, etc.

    So, what are some of the ways you think I could help better prepare him for life as a twenty-something?

    Thank s

    • Doctor Quack says:

      Hey Eddie, I’m glad you enjoyed my post. I hope your 20’s aren’t treating you too harshly.

      As for your brother, I suppose any advice I would have would be more valuable if I were actually successful. As it is, I can only offer him advice of conjecture into what might hypothetically work in a situation with which I am unfamiliar. But alas, I will do my best.

      The first thing is this: prepare him for the idea that most people don’t make a living out of what they studied in college. If he wants to study Literature of Ghana, don’t let him be discouraged by the idea that not many job opportunities exist for an expert in Ghanese Literature. Education is about knowledge and fulfillment, not necessarily about getting a job and making millions. After all, my brother studied Molecular Cell Biology at UC Berkeley, and then went on to be an actor.

      With that said (and as you said yourself), if he’s studying something that’s a passion but unmarketable, he should invest time in crafting a skill set that will make him stand out in the job market for a career path he would find fulfilling. Employers get a lot of guys with fancy degrees from fancy universities. But who gets applications from Kung Fu glass makers who can speak Dutch? Also, I hear Kung Fu glass making is a great way to pick up chicks at bars.

      The other thing is, when he gets pissed off at life (which he undoubtedly will, as we all do), let him know you’re there to listen.

      Also, one more thing: I regret more things I haven’t done than things I’ve done. Encourage him to do things he’s uncertain about and bail him out of jail when those things go awry.

      I hope that helped. Sorry for taking so long to respond.

  522. RHowe says:

    I stumbled upon this post when doing a Google search for “experiencing at 24 what most don’t til 33”. My husband and I are both artists and have been through the ringer the past few years– we have hit that point of wondering if our dreams were ever even real or contrived from books and movies that, as you said, don’t really portray this time in life. I was feeling insane and broken, this post made me realize I am not alone.

  523. Steve says:

    This was a fun read. I believe I came across it by someone “liking” it on Facebook as well.

    I’m 31 now and could relate to everything you wrote, but what really stuck out as dead-on for me was Alexie’s comment on time.

    I still feel and often act as a 21 year old, but that’s only when I have the time to do so. I’ve got a professional job that pays reasonably well which in turn affords me te financial freedom to do things that as a teenager or 20-something, seemed completely out of reach. Yay me. Unfortunately, it only comes in small spurts due to all of the responsibilities of said “career” and life as a 30-something in general. Even with the financial burden somewhat lessened, there’s not enough time to do those things with any sort of regularity.

    And so I keep contributing to that 401k, and looking forward to taking on my professional responsibilities, so i can enjoy more financial freedom, all with the hopes of retiring at an age that I can enjoy it? Ugh. Yay me :).

    Ah fuck it… I’m getting drunk and calling in sick.

    Find a career from which you can find some sense of fulfillment, even if it’s not the astronaut gig you envisioned in your youth. But please, don’t let it define you.

  524. Mallory says:

    Maybe this just goes along with your point on drugs and DUIs, but for me (at nearly 26), being a 20-something is a time of social divergence. I often feel stuck between friends who still want to stay up until 2 or 3am, playing flip cup and drinking obscene amounts of booze, and then friends who get married and have kids and disappear for that first year of newborn sleeplessness (after which, activities need to be kid friendly or occur on rare kidfree nights).

    I want to spend more time enjoying life solo (and being responsible only to myself) before getting married and having kids. but I also have no desire to prolong college-style social life. I’ve found it tough to relate to my old groups of friends who generally divide along these two lines, and I think that’s been one of the toughest things about the post-college midtwenties. I’ve come to realize that the peers I’ve been so close to are going to go down different paths that I don’t want to travel on. While I visit friends on their paths, that’s not where I belong, and I’ve gotta get out and meet some more likeminded folk.

  525. Mike Rhu says:

    Dear DQ,

    Enjoyed your article.

    One more piece is the saying: “What you pay for in your twenties you get paid for in your thirties.

    My time spent playing frisbee and noodeling on my computer in the eighties became my social network and a good job. Even my boss is an old frisbee cohort.

    So to all the young folks. Have passion for what you enjoy doing. In the long run, the time energy and frustration spent will come back to you as the best gift you could ever give yourself.

  526. lqlim says:

    Reblogged this on Goodbye, Teenage and commented:
    This is the blog I mentioned in my first post “Disclaimer: Amateur Blogger”.

  527. Michaela says:

    very nice. im 27 and i feel like im 16.

  528. therealdrag0 says:

    PS. A TV show about post-college early-adult life: Girls (2012). It’s pretty good. Nice to have a show about women instead of having men always take the limelight.

  529. Zandria says:

    I can’t believe I read this, and didn’t start laughing so hard that I’d cry. I just turned 23 this past month, so hearing this makes me feel a bit better at my train of thought. Having A.D.D. may have impacted that, but fortunately for me, the effort I put into learning harder than most of my classmates, got me to still remember songs, origami, and strangely… random Spanish phrases. I HATED Spanish class too, and now it won’t leave me alone because I had to use all of that effort for it to stick. Also those songs were from grade school on up. I think that was just because I loved to sing so much. I’m a daydreamer too, sometimes in lala land for a good 15 minutes before I snap out of it. It’s good to know I’m not the only one not feeling like an adult!

  530. Pingback: Disclaimer: amateur blogger « Goodbye, Teenage

  531. c.garcia says:

    Loved your piece relate 100% to this

  532. Pingback: 10 Things Doctor Quack Warned Me about my Twenties | vith15

  533. Stephanie says:

    Reblogged this on montivagant.

  534. I agree with everything you said. I’m 25 and not having kids/being married are unusual. Thanks for posting!

  535. Pingback: PPT #04: She Doesn’t Have A Happy Place

  536. Pingback: 10 things no one warned me about my twenties | ...everyday kristen

  537. Pingback: A month from now. | Juyjuy

  538. When someone writes an paragraph he/she keeps the image of a user in his/her brain that how a user can understand
    it. Thus that’s why this paragraph is amazing. Thanks!

  539. PeachyMushroom says:

    screw stability and “things working out!” youth is all about adventure, dreams, and..uh…a mad dash for survival! lol! I just like the idea of eternally being wide-eyed and anticipating new beginnings versus finally achieving fulfillment. LOL! But I’m also still 21 so…haha! alright, I’m gonna get real, I do crave security now that I don’t have any, but I also know how boring and stifling it can be to be secure when you long for realizing your dreams and having an adventure. Only wish I could have started training for my vocation (dance) during early teens so that I didn’t have to balance survival and train as a beginner at the same time. ahhh…to take the unsecured path…

  540. PeachyMushroom says:

    ugh. also marrying in your 20’s sounds laaaaaame!

  541. “You stop giving a shit about things you used to give a shit about” Couldn’t agree more.

  542. Getting dumber…at about age 25 I noticed the same thing. I also noticed my parents were getting smarter, almost as smart as when I was 3 or 4! In about five or six years I expect to become brilliant; my children will be in their mid 20s by then. 😉 Great piece.

  543. Pingback: In Which the Author Realizes He’s Out of Touch with the Youth | The Chorizo Chronicles

  544. Matt says:

    So I went to college…the grades dropped and I dropped out and bought a house. Worked tons of time paying for it and never had much of a social life. Paid the thing off when I was 30, Have a decent paying job, also owning a business thats starting to take off. Realized that waiting for that woman that also waited wasn’t going to happen. (Find someone when you are in your mid 20s…by 30 most of the women are getting rather undesirable…and my ideal woman is like Zooey Deschanel). So now that I don’t have to worry about someone, I’m going to quit my good paying job, try to make it on my own and live my life not worrying about trying to find someone. Maybe someday I *will* actually get to experience some “adult activities”, but who knows anymore

  545. Tonia says:

    This made me laugh with tears and also a little depressed. I seem to have subconsciously known all of this and now I’m sitting here pondering my life and where I have come in it. I’m 27 and I still haven’t figured everything out. Great piece though, I’m so glad I read it. (However I did get married when I was 19, so I ruined that part)

  546. Pingback: 10 Things Nobody Warned Me about my Twenties | Of Rust and Stardust

  547. buenavie says:

    Reblogged this on Neoteric Alabaster Jar and commented:
    “And that’s the most disturbing thing: I’ve gotten to the point where my abstract thoughts drown out things that are actually happening, but my abstract thoughts aren’t even doing anything. It’s not like I would be thinking about drinking milk. I’d just be thinking… about milk.” Totally can relate. The spaghetti abstract thoughts in me head. Oh Twenties, how full of surprises, learning and tragedies of all sorts you have. 🙂 You feel a bit of a loner because a lot of your friends are getting married and some have kids already, but to think, the 60s are way sadder because most of their age-mates are dying.

  548. Mike says:

    Please email me some kind of link to your music (might I suggest youtube, it’s free and if you throw a copyright in the escription no one will fuck with it, whether you actually copyrighted it or not, tho that is almost free ) I would really appreciate it I am also a musician in my twenties who found this article on google

  549. Kelli Register says:

    I loved reading this. Completely relatable to my life right now. Just about every word. I broke out in laughter a few times because of how much I can relate! Comforting to know I am not the only one going through this. Thank you for sharing your honest feelings about life in your early twenties. Keep writing!

  550. Toni says:

    I could not agree more. I really enjoyed this post. This was my laugh for the day, now back to homework I will not remember once the test is over. O! The joys of college “adult” hood! ….. At the grand age of 25 (still very young I feel), I realized that there is a lot I do not know about life, but I am learning to make my own rules. I feel that is the best part about growing older.

  551. Cassandra says:

    I know this response is years late but I was looking for something to help me cope and this entry really hits home for me. I dont feel like an adult and I doubt I ever will. I feel like a block of clay molding myself into society’s life stages. I graduate college, get a job, got to that job everyday for 20 years, pay bills & taxes, get married, have kids. I dont feel happiness, joy, nothing. And I used to wonder what the purpose of life is but it seems like our purpose is predefined. We are born, we procreate, we die.