It’s impressive albeit irritating how our subconscious consistently finds new ways to scare the poop out of us as we’re sleeping. It forces us to fear things we would never even consider while awake. Teeth falling out? Really? Unintentional nudity? How would that even happen?
Let us not forget the awful abstractions during which we wake up screaming that turn out to be absolutely impossible to describe, and not for not trying:
So there was this really really big cube. But then it started getting bigger, and morphing into like a 3D trapezoid. And it just kept getting bigger, but no one else in the city was noticing it! That’s when I heard my dad’s voice yell, “Get in here!” and suddenly I was looking at my backyard from someone else’s kitchen, and rabbits were everywhere! EVERYWHERE! They were synchronized-hopping. Oh God, it was horrifying…
But, no matter how horrifying the dream, we always wake up to realize that we still have teeth, our loved ones are still alive, and there is no giant expanding cube. We are at peace once again with a newfound appreciation for the sanity in which we supposedly live.
No, the worst nightmares are the sweetest of dreams.
Last night, I met my one true love. She was a friend of a friend of the family, and stopped by our house on a rainy winter night. We didn’t talk very much, but we were comfortable with our mutual company. We kept exchanging glances all night until finally when we were sitting next to each other, I held her hand. She immediately kissed me. In that moment, I knew she was someone who would accept me for who I am and be happy for what I am doing, as I would accept her for who she is and be happy for what she is doing. I didn’t have to worry. No games, no power struggles, no drama or anxiety. Just pure, satisfied companionship.
I kissed her back, but instead of her lips, I got her nose. God, why did I kiss her nose?! Don’t I know facial anatomy?! Jeff, you fool! The lips are an inch lower! Let go of her nose! Stop sucking on her nose!
But I couldn’t. I couldn’t pry my lips off her nose. I was horrified. What was going on? Why the nose, of all places? Couldn’t I have missed and gotten the cheek or chin, or even the ear? What is it to be eternally suctioned onto your one-true-love’s nose?
And then I woke up. I realized in the twilight of consciousness that, even though I was kissing her nose, she really didn’t mind it. She accepted it, and even enjoyed it. There was no judgement. We could move past the nose-debacle. That was the beauty of us.
And then I realized she didn’t exist.
I woke up nearly ten hours ago, and I still find myself longing for her.