Searching for an Apartment: a comparison between Austin and Los Angeles

I recently moved from Los Angeles, CA to Austin, TX.  Needless to say, the experience apartment-hunting was vastly different.

  Austin, TX Los Angeles, CA
Location of Leasing Office in the apartment complex six miles away from apartment complex, probably a basement
Front Door to Leasing Office ornate wood design and brick frame often mistaken for janitorial closet, with sign that says “be back tomorrow, maybe”
Inside the Leasing Office clean, air-conditioned, with three smiling receptionists cramped, smelly, full of stacks of disorganized papers, locked
What the receptionist says “How may I help you today?” I’m not sure, because it’s in Romanian.
Who the receptionist actually is hired staff for your convenience the apartment manager, for no one’s convenience
What they have available six units of different sizes they can show you immediately or later at your convenience one unit they can show you on Tuesday between 1:00pm and 2:00pm if it’s not leased by then
How much your rent is comparable to your grocery bill three nights of prostitution per week
How they respond when you ask about whether they have AC and Heat “Are you serious? This is Texas.” “Nyet.”
How they respond when you ask about whether they have a dishwasher “Are you serious? This is a first world country.” كلا
How much more your apartment would be with AC, heat, and a dishwasher N/A an additional two nights of prostitution per week
Proximity to nearest grocery and big box stores 2 miles, or 4 minutes of driving 2 miles, or 30 minutes of driving
Do your appliances work? Yes. What appliances?
What you wake up to in the morning: your alarm BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP RAWWRRRH KHKHKHKH! BEEP BEEP…
First thing you have to fix: your wardrobe, for heat your toilet seat
Your first new local phrase: “Y’all.” “Sorry, I don’t have any change.”

 

Advertisements

About Doctor Quack

Just another bonehead with an internet connection.
This entry was posted in Editorial and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Searching for an Apartment: a comparison between Austin and Los Angeles

  1. Vicky G says:

    I think this is biased. I hope you enjoy Texas though!

  2. Bryan says:

    You’re making me jealous.

  3. becky hayman says:

    Not biased at all … I love it! I can’t wait to come and visit you!

  4. Bethany Hill says:

    Hilarious! I’ve noticed a big difference in the housing situations between Los Angeles and…oh… almost everywhere.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s