I’m pretty inept at creating visual comedy via digital means, so I decided to practice the art of making charts and graphs using Open Office. My humor tends to be a little text-heavy, so I figure having this skill set can only benefit my readership numbers (because isn’t that what life is all about?). After all, it seems to work for Demetri Martin.
I realize with meme culture and the spread of demotivationals, the humor contained in the following graphs has probably already been widely dispersed among the web-fluent public, but I came up with these on my own, so I won’t consider their probable unoriginality as plagiarism.
In all honesty, I spent about four hours making these. Four hours. Two of those hours was figuring out how to color in only parts of the pie chart instead of the whole pie. My God! – why is it so hard to do simple tasks in modern programs? Why, back in my day, we had Kid Pix and you could color in whatever damn wedge you wanted. Hell! – even in Microsoft Paint you can color in whole divided regions with a click of a button! There was none of this fancy schmancy RBG scale or Import whatever and snapping to grids ‘n shit; the toolbar was your box of crayons and the document was your paper. Jesus. All I wanted to do was color in a damn wedge without getting an ulcer.