Monthly Archives: March 2011

Dr. Quack’s Art of Seduction

Two words: Lint Ball. Take it from a man who has had precisely one and a half functional relationships in the last 24 years; I know what I’m talking about when it comes to the art of seduction. Success is … Continue reading

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The Power of Spite

“Living well is the best revenge.” – George Herbert I have recently started believing in the power of well-directed spite. About two years ago, I had a flopped romance that hurt me pretty badly. As a result, I went to … Continue reading

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Existentialist Moments, brought to you by my kitchen

I put some veggies in the microwave for one minute.  When I heard the microwave ding, my first thought was: “Oh my god, that was already a minute?  Life passes us by so fast…” This should never happen to you, … Continue reading

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“Ubikacja Ogińskiego” in haiku (aka: superior) form

Like all things in life, my crappy poetry can easily be crafted into a set of haikus.  I don’t know why this didn’t occur to me before. Ubikacja Ogińskiego On your friend’s toilet box of journals, old schoolwork no toilet paper … Continue reading

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Bad Poetry: episode 1 – “Ubikacja Ogińskiego”

Often events in life inspire very bad poetry.  Only rarely do life’s events inspire good poetry.  This is most fortunate; if everyone were a master poet whenever the spirit moved them to write in verse, the world would be inundated … Continue reading

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A Moment of Sublime

(some of you from livejournal might have noticed I’ve been stealing my own entries… that is assuming I actually have readers here from livejournal… or at all) An anxious memory: Summer of 2009.  We had just finished our second day … Continue reading

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Places Worse than Dorris: Part 1B

I hesitated on giving Kettleman City its own post.  After all, it’s basically just Lost Hills with an In ‘n Out and no derrick infestation. Notice the blank billboard in the picture above.  I don’t have commentary on it.  I … Continue reading

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